Descendents of the Ash and Elm

Eureka!

2012-01-07T00:11:00.000-08:00

I was googling Elmo (which, I'm not even sure is legal in California) and I came across my old blog! I had forgotten all about it.

So, I've decided I'm going to start back up again.

Stay tuned!

I've moved

2008-01-10T22:11:00.000-08:00

My boss hooked my up with a new blog.

Here's my new address

Goals for 2008

2008-01-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

This year I have set a goal to read 100 books by the end of the year. I've never kept track of how many books I read and I just joined a Book Club on Ravelry.

I started the year off with Slash a Christmas gift from my son, Sean which I am still reading.

Later, I will post my list of books I plan on reading. And I'm not going to re-read any books this year. I do that often. Just new books. Well, not necessarily new books, but new to me.

I'm so freakin excited!

Adventures of Sandy and Becky

2007-12-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

John, Sandy, Marty and I all went to the Ghetty museum today. It was Sandy and Marty's first time.

We saw the photography of Graciela Iturbide and the Medieval Treasure and then toured the gardens where John was more helpful than the tour guide.

I think John and Marty were more entranced with the travertine than most of the artwork, but I must admit, the travertine is beautiful.

I'm sure this has been photogaraphed a million times, but I couldn't resist myself.

Here John teaches Marty how to text message. Silly boys, can't take them anywhere.

Today I learned that the Center was designed to coincide with the axis of the San Diego Freeway and the grids of Los Angeles. Here, you can see an example of the two axis' with the layout of the travertine.

And the trees are just beautiful.

Then we were exhausted from all the walking and shopping and my back was killing me from all those stiars. So we went to Father's Office for the best damn burgers I have ever had. Marty had read a review so we tried it out and I will definitely go back.

Then Sandy, bless her heart, walked into Subtle Tones to ask for directions to a coffee shop. Well, one thing led to another and John bought me a beautiful sweater to go with my Christmas present. what a guy.

For My Children

2007-12-21T22:03:00.000-08:00

The Mother Night

This is the night of the Winter Solstice, the night of Yule, "the Wheel."
For thousands of years, the celebrations of this season have been those of gateways, the magic of passages--journeys of the folk from one year to the next, journeys of the spirit from one world to the next, the magic of birth and death and of rebirth. And because life deserves more than mere survival and continuance, the magic of this season has always been that of peace and plenty as well.

In the North, the months we know as December and January have long been called Freyja's Nights of Darkness. The year's longest night is the Mother Night, and in darkness the Lady labors to bring the Light to birth once more. The Young Sun is born at the Winter Solstice--Freyr the Lord, the Lady's consort, who controls the work of sun and rain and brings fruitfulness to the fields. Freyja the Lady is reborn of herself at Yule. Her blessing was invoked on all birthing women. A white candle that last burned on Mother Night is a charm for safe childbirth.

In the North Yule logs were burned because they were believed to “magically” make the sun burn brighter and Minstrel poets would sings about ancient legends.

“Listen my children come gather ye round
For I have a fine story to tell
One of Vikings and Lords and mystical fjords
And woman (how appropriate), named Hel

Of the Yggdrasil tree ever pure ever green
With leaves that never wither or die
Look closely tonight, in that darkest of nights
Can you see the Norns weaver your fate in the Sky?

In honor of Freyja put a Yule log on the fire
For fallen Berserkers let them hear your proud screams
And the Bilfrost Bridge just over the ridge
Will lead you to the land of you dreams

Keep holy always the Mother night
Winter Solstice, the Return of the Sun
Why even the Christians who stole our traditions
Partake in this glorious fun.” ---Love Mom

What A Freakin' Day

2007-12-19T20:49:00.001-08:00

My day started out as complete madness at work because we are preparing to shut down for two weeks. My boss can't access the Internet from home, so he's instant messaging me wanting me to check my IP address dot com, the IT guy is on the phone, I get hold of the purchasing manager because Verizon has switched us from static to dynamic again on our IP address, I'm trying to balance the backlog, the new guy is having problems preparing a data package, the controller didn't show up AGAIN so I assist the president in obtaining a document for a banker. I have a lady clogging in the office next to me, it rained so hard my window leaked and all my binders of invoices, procedures and MSDS sheets are swollen from rain and I missed the truck and didn't get my freaking Dr. Pepper. I guess, what I'm trying to say is I needed a monkey and a football by noon.

So, I put out the metaphorical fire and managed to get home without killing and some guy even showed up dressed like Santa with an elf in tow and wanted to take a picture with me. WTF? He was from some temp agency and he's drumming up business and he had candy for our controller who didn't show up so I passed out truffles to everyone. Made my day. Quite honestly, I hope Santa shits in his stocking.

And two people brought me Dr. Pepper's because they knew I needed it.

That's why I love this place, madness and all.

Then I come home and sit down and realize I didn't deposit Mom's check at the bank. Mother is a stickler about these things and she wont rest until she knows I haven't lost it. Apparently, she still thinks I keep money in my shoe. So, I decide to deposit the check and go to Smart and Final for some last minute supplies for the Christmas eve party.

You know how those pesky ATM's never have envelopes when you need them? Well, I had put in my ATM card and started my deposit transaction when I realized there were no envelopes. So I go to the next ATM retrieve an envelope and walk back and the ATM that took my card now reads:

TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE, PLEASE USE ANOTHER BANK OF AMERICA ATM

I hear the drawers clanking around and I can hear people so I yell through the slot that took my card, "Hey, give me my card back, please." Which alarmed the man two ATM's over. I wait for several minutes and then I go to the bank door and it's locked, yet there are people in there and I wonder if perhaps this is a bad dream. I'm banging on the door and a man comes to the door and TALKS TO ME THROUGH THE CRACK! As if I was a bank robber or something. I explain to him my situation THROUGH SAID CRACK and he looks pissed like I've inconvenienced him.

So, I'm standing there waiting like an idiot trying to make idle conversation with anyone who wandered up because I know I would be nervous at someone just hanging around an ATM and the more I explained my real story the more nervous people became. Then I just acted crazy for shits and giggles, plus it was freaking cold. I told one man I thought Ted Kazinsky was on to something and another that I was at that ATM every night between 6 and 8 performing stand-up comedy.

The cranky man from the bank starts talking to me from the other side of the ATM and it appears to others not in close proximity that I am now having a conversation with an inanimate conversation, arm gestures and all.

My card had somehow managed to fall between the drawer and the slot I placed it in and the cranky man retreived it with a long piece of wire and mass quantities of scotch tape. He was quite pleased with himself and this cheered him up.

So, how was your day?

Family, The Ties That Bind and Gag

2007-12-17T20:10:00.000-08:00

Went to see Mother today on my lunch hour. I had worn a dress to work so I wanted her to see me as I looked ever so pretty. So, the one freakin day of the year I wear a dress and she's got me climbing a freakin ladder to replace a light bulb. All I could think was "don't fall and ruin your epidural". Mother was quite pleased that the light bulb hadn't been changed in 14 years. Which gives you an idea as to how often she uses it and how many dead bugs were in the fixture. Which she had to wash and I had to remain on the ladder, for some insane reason. As if I wouldn't remember where the screws went, I guess. Forty seven and she still treat me like a kid.

And before I engaged in ladder climbing and told mother not to climb on the chair my brother had called so we started to get caught up with each others lives and she takes the phone from me and tells Michael, I've got a job for Becky to do so she'll call you when she gets back to work and I had to say bye. I felt just like Elaine on Seinfeld when she couldn't go with Jerry because she had to buy Mr. Pitt some SOCKS!

But I had a great weekend. My knitster sisters came over and John taught Cheryl how to bowl. And to be honest I think she's hooked! She's probably out buying bowling shoes as I write this. And John gave Terry some pointers for Jesse and I caught Sean checking her out, again. My boys came over and we had a house full so I didn't get a chance to bowl with Cheryl but we will do it again because in two days I will be off for two weeks! I won't know what to do with myself.

John promised that the tile would be laid by Sunday before the girls arrived so naturally, the last tile was laid today. There it is in all it's glory. It hasn't even been grouted or sealed yet and he thinks this place will be ready for a Christmas Eve party.

I have my reservations, but what I want to know is

Does this Central Park Hoodie make my ass look big? Yes, I actually finished it.

Well, I better go check on John he's doing something in the attic and either he's hurt or he's turning Japanese.

Just Another Thursday!

2007-12-06T12:57:00.001-08:00

Called Mom today to check in with her as is my usual morning routine. Last week there was a drive-by in her neighborhood and this week she got an obscene phone call. Never a dull moment with this woman.

Who, makes obscene phone calls in this day and age? That is so 80's. But any who, the caller was mumbling and breathing hard and mother asked "Who is this?" "What do you want?" The caller replied with a question, "Do you like dick?"

Mother replied, "You mean, Dick Chaney? Is this some sort of Republican Poll?"

That woman cracks me up and I want to be just like her when I grow up.

And speaking of whack jobs, we had an individual walk into the office this afternoon who was out of his mind on drugs. He had on green cowboy boots and shorts and claimed to be on heroin, cocaine, marijuana and alcohol. He said he fell and hurt himself. I don't know how you could feel anything with that in your system, but then again he looked to be in his twenties and said he was ten. So, I'm thinking mental illness because, really, green boots and shorts! I mean, come on!

The police were called and the individual kept asking the president if he was a police officer. The police arrived and they in turn called the paramedics and the Fire Department. What must the neighbors think? The police officer actually knew him on a first name basis and with all the commotion I tried to see if the paramedics would front me a morphine drip. I'm kidding! No, I'm not! Shut up and finish the story.

Suddenly, every employee in the plant had to come to the front office and were placing wagers on who bit the big one. Big money was on a certain someone who is retiring this month. And every one had to see those green boots!

Man, I love my job.

Conversations with Co-workers

2007-12-05T10:10:00.000-08:00

I can't believe after 21 years I am still hearing new stories from my co-workers.

Today, Jim and I were sitting in my office listening to Johnny Cash singing "Hurt". I knew from previous stories that Jim knew Johnny Cash from the church they both attended on the Avenue in Ventura and that when Johnny would come to Ojai one of his opening acts, The Statler Brothers, would sing and do concerts around the area. And I have already heard the story about Jim's younger brother being with Johnny when he set fire to Los Padres National Forest. Note: Them yellow buzzards he refers to are our condors!

Okay, back the the story at hand. What I didn't know was that Jim was with Johnny when he got that infamous scar on his right cheek. Now that's a good fucking story. Why did he wait this long to tell me?

Jim and his younger brother, and the Reverend Floyd Gressett and Johnny Cash went to the Reverend's ranch, which was not a working ranch, Jim said, but they'd go there to hunt deer and rabbits and drink somewhere in in the Cuyama Valley.

There was an old tree that had a bee hive and honey in it and there was a Jeep that was conveniently handy. So, Johnny had the bright idea to tie a chain to the tree attaching it to the jeep and he was going to pull the tree over with the jeep. Well, when he got to the end of the chain the jeep went straight up in the air and he cut his right cheek. Jim and his younger brother and the preacher had to take Johnny all the way to Bakersfield to a hospital.

I just love my job.

Random Rants

2007-11-30T19:32:00.001-08:00

My husband is having his family over for Christmas eve. He planned this all by himself and then sprung it on me. His selling point was it woulde make him lay the tile faster. So, today it rained and he laid tile. Sandy came over and helped me organize my yarn room. She is so handy arranging books. And she thinks if I wind my yarn I will have more room on my shelf. So, I wound two thousand yards this evening and am now in bed with the dogs and a heating pad.

And I've been tagged. Who knew Elisa was a tagger?

Here’s the deal: Once tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list 8 random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to 8 other people, visit their sites, and leave a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged. So here we go. *some restrictions may apply.

1. I make it a point to talk to strangers and I encourage others to do so as well. Next time you are standing in line waiting for coffee, ask the person ahead of you if this is the line for methadone. I did it just this morning and found out the guy was a screen writer. I told him what a coincidence, I'm a reader.
2. I still enjoy riding shopping carts while in the parking lot. It's great exercise and I highly recommend Trader Joe's carts and I still enjoy tag.
3. I use to ditch school so I could read what I wanted all day. I would go to Bubbling Springs Park, climb a tree and read until it was time to go home. NOTE: Attendance Officer's rarely look up.
4. In grade school I wanted to be a spy. (My spy name was Harriet Heckler) My accomplice "Mildred Mischief" and I would go to the manager of our apartment complex and tell him we were locked out. He would "trust" us with a key that would open any door. We would knock on doors and when no one would answer we would unlock the door and clean the apartment and rearrange the furniture and then leave a note that Harriet and Mildred had struck again. To this day I have no idea what that had to do with spying, but apparently at the time it made sense.
5. I read every night before I go to bed. I can't sleep unless I read something. I get that from my mother who reads her dictionary every day. And for about ten years I read the bible from cover to cover every year.
6. I love my children even though they are fallible human beings and did not turn out to be the programmable robots I had envisioned.
7. I sleep with two dogs, two cats and one husband in a queen sized bed and the occassional Grandson. See above photo.
8. I never had to attend church as a child, so I have been to everything from Kingdom Halls to Budda Rally's with my friends. I have epilepsy and my first seizure was at a Pentacostal summer camp after witnessing a room full of strangers speaking in tongues.

Elisa
Jessica
Christina
Heather
Marc
Beatriz
Cheryl
Laura

The Phone Rings

2007-11-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

in my office. I pick it up, "Quality. This is Becky." The voice on the other ends starts off...

"Mom, pause, what's an in-house network?" WTF? Who is this?

Jacob qualifies for health insurance at work now and he's in the Carpenter's Union so who does he call? Me. I should have told him to call his Shop Steward and hung up, but against my better judgment I told him to sign up for the HMO because I figure since HMO's don't give you many options, the phone calls might stop.

But somehow, I doubt it.

Thankfulness

2007-11-22T22:39:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for my "motley crew" even when they drink my scotch and then think they are "scotch aficionados".

And I am thankful for the son who drove said scotch aficionado home.

I am thankful that the man I married will hug poor Blue when he is in a triptifan coma to let him know everything is alright.

I am thankful that the cat still finds my cooking appealing.

And after the turkey was cooked and the gravy was poured and the last potato was peeled, and the homemade whipping cream was on the pie, I still kicked their asses at bowling.

I bowled a 258.

Tonight

2007-11-17T23:35:00.000-08:00

After a debate with Blue as to whether or not I would continue with my blanket for my upcoming grandchild, or not was the outcome BTW. I came to realization that John and I are merely warm pieces of furniture.

On the occassion where they might actually use furnite it is usually my side of the bed.

Or Eli insisting on helping with taxes. Bad idea!

Or the time he helped me weave.

John has no idea that Hank hogs the camera while I try to capture them on film or that he's on the internet, for that matter.

Once Hank even used Blue as furniture

All in all I think it best to take Eli's advise and enjoy life and always stop and smell the roses.

And what you don't know wont hurt you.

What was the greatest thing before TOAST?

2007-11-16T07:51:00.000-08:00

We recently purchased a Nintendo Wii and I'm telling you, this is the greatest god damn thing since Tequilla!

Go to your nearest Game Crazy for a free demonstration, I implore you.
Tell 'em Crazy Becky sent you and then go to Carl's Junior and order the Spaghetti Basket.

We have family night dinner almost every Monday, so on Veterans Day we had Mom's enchilada's and dad's beans.

Then, we hooked it up. Note: That's a Croatian and a Serbian working together. It's freaking magical, people. We need to get these to NATO and start distributing them to warring countries. Because, it is quite apparent to me now that Project Panama Red and M & M's didn't pan out. Who knew potheads would fight over the green ones?

And then we bowled

And here's the best part, it's fun for the whole family.

Today I am buying my OWN remote!

Subdued Adventures

2007-11-04T14:38:00.000-08:00

This weekend Sandy, Lisa and I attended the "Harvest Artwalk" in Ventura where my co-worker, David Rivas, was the featured artist.

It was lots of fun, but David is going to be in big trouble. He held his exhibit at Fox Fine Jewelry. I bought some lovely Amber earrings and signed up for their mailing list and Lisa and Sandy started wish lists. They have a great selection of martini glasses that I might put on my wish list and I think Lisa said they have some kind of "Ladies Night".

Oh, and they carry Mary Frances PURSES!

But I digress! It was great to see David as the featured artist and he was kind and gracious to my knitster sisters. Sandy even got a hug.

Parking in Ventura is an adventure in itself. After cruising numerous packed parking lots and debating whether to risk a tow away zone Sandy spotted a car that looked like it was leaving in a two hour zone. We waited for them to leave and as soon as we were parked I spotted a vacancy in the "all day zone". So I ran across the street and stood in it until Sandy got her car their.

There was a homeless guy with the biggest water head I had ever seen until we got closer and I realized he just had dread locks tucked into a beanie. Bummer.

We saw One World Drummers and Sandy got me bubbles and a pencil for Eli.

I'll leave you with a picture David took of the 50 Hammer crew where we work. He won first prize for photo journalism for this one. I bought a print and had the whole crew sign it.

A Letter From Joseph

2007-10-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

I got home last night from knit night and there was a letter from Joseph waiting patiently for me in the mailbox. I crept in so as not to wake up John and went into a separate room and closed the door and read. I notices right away his handwriting has changed. It looks neater and instead of leaving the misspelled words like his first letter he corrected them this time. It was good to hear from him. He liked the story of his great grandfather coming to America and has been working out as that is all there is to do. He has talked to other inmates who have been moved numerous times from jail to jail and one has been in for six months and has still not been before a judge. And then it got confusing.

He thanked me for sending him the book "Thieves of Baghdad" and said he was enjoying it. Well, I'm glad he's enjoying it, but I didn't send it. I sent him "Choke", "Fight Club" and "Survivor" by Chuck Palahniuk and "What is the What" by Dave Eggers along with "Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff" by Christopher Moore. I have no idea whose book Joseph is reading nor do I know what happened to his books.

Well, it's good to know that they know what they are doing in Texas.

He signed his letter "your number one son minus a few technicalities" so I know his sense of humor is still in tact. I sent him a poem by Elmo titled "Loneliness" and he definitely could relate to it. So I ordered "Disguised as a Poem" for him today. I hope he gets it. If you haven't read it I recommend it and not because I know the author or because I know Elmo who prompted Judith to write the book, but because it's important to remember that a single act that puts someone behind bars should not define that person for a lifetime.

LONELINESS
by Elmo Chattman, Jr.

Loneliness is my shadow
the reflection I see in the mirror
It is a pair of iron shoulder pads
cold as stone
A vulture that sits outside my cage
stalking my dying soul.

Loneliness is a woman with no hands
nor arms to caress me
no lips nor tongue to kiss me
or speak my name
A woman with no womb nor navel
no eyes to behold me
Loneliness is a woman who is dead
and does not exist.

Loneliness is a dog that pisses on the rug
Lonelinessis the itch I can't scratch.
Loneliness is that big black hole
the heart of every prison
The enemy

I've lost my tolerance
for the bleeding hearts and good intentions
Until you have come to prison
you CAN NEVER KNOW
loneliness.

I could teach Webster's a few things
about the meaning of loneliness
But I doubt that the world would understand
Here in prison
loneliness
is a way of life.

Fire Season

2007-10-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

This is the view from my backyard today. Where there is brown sky you would normally see the foothills. And geez, we have a lot of lines near those euc's. Our poor critters are all in a snit and Blue has taken to barking at the wind.

I was all alone in my department today. My boss doesn't work on Monday's. David had to leave early and pick up his kids because his wife was stuck on some freeway that was shutdown due to power lines. Cornwell's on oxygen and can't leave the house and Tony was sick, too. And I forgot to bring my knitting! Bud, our Village Idiot due to affirmative action, pissed me off again so he bought me lunch. This is really working out nicely for me.

The wind has been wreaking havoc in Camarillo. Knocking over trees and what not. And speaking of trees, it has always fascinated me how trees have adapted to or evolved with fire. Like the Manzanita, for example. It's seeds are refractory, meaning they won't germinate until after being exposed to fire. It needs fire.

So, a seed can lie on the bed of a forest for a hundred years and along comes a fire and out of that destruction comes new life. I think it gives me hope.

Homeland Security My Ass

2007-10-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

What is the appropriate threat level color for a B-52 carrying nuclear weapons by your own government over your state?

I tell you what, that is not going to look good on a resume.

And to your left, my right, you can see what use to be Louisiana. I can see the Spike Lee Documentary trailer already.

It flew across three states carrying six missiles. Apparently, it breached such a level that they had to notify Bush. Egad, I bet he was pissed. What else could possibly go wrong while he is in office? His curse is damn-near, dare I say it, of BIBLICAL proportions? Okay, so let's refresh our memories on what has happened thus far. Ready?

There was 9/11. (But, we don't fuck around when it comes to building Embassiess in the Emerald City.) There was that Space Shuttle that disintegrated over Texas. There was Hurricane Katrina.There was that slight oil spill in Alaska. I think there was an alleged flu pandemic somewhere in the mix.

Oh, but there have been good times too. Remember the time Dubya forgot to chew his pretzel before he swallowed? Oh, how I laughed and laughed at that one. He really is "the accidental president". But seriously, who fucking chokes on a pretzel? That's what you get for gagging me.
There was the time he fell off his bike in Scotland and again in Texas. Oh, he works hard to raise our spirits.

What next? Panty raids at Gitmo?

Okay, your turn. Post as many Bush Blunders that you can remember or place a wager on what could possibly go wrong next.

Today is the Big Day

2007-10-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show goes online with a video archive.

With over 7,000 videos already archived I'll never get bored at work again.

Ever Had One Of Those Days

2007-10-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

That was so surreal and bizarre that if you hadn't been there in person you would never believe it? Me neither. But.... We had one hell of an adventure in Santa Monica while shopping for yarn.

Sandy, Lisa, Terry and I went on a road trip to Wild Fiber for some Koigu. Sandy was going to drive so we met up at her house. Terry forgot her knitting so she graciously volunteered to drive and off we go.

By the time we got to Wild Fiber, poor Terry is a nervous wreck from Lisa and myself hollering last minute directions from, where else, the back seat. Well, we were knitting and would look up at the last minute. We get to the front after a series of u-turns and cutting across driveways and Sandy had to parallel park. She is great at it, by the way.

I bought some koigu to make a baby jacket, some Socks that Rock to make a scarf from a free pattern from Natasha (the new owner) and some blue Baby Alpaca because apparently Lisa thinks I should be bathed in blue, so who am I to argue. I buy my stuff. Terry buys some stuff. Sandy rings her stuff up and decides to put something back on the shelf, sees the amount on the register and is SHOCKED at how much money some people will spend on yarn only to realize it was hers. OMG where's my phone?

There is four of us and we made at least eight trips to the cash register. While I was waiting for them to ring up there cash and prizes I spotted this purse and had to have it. It was actually calling out to me or maybe I'm hearing voices. We got directions to go eat at a coffee shop owned by Bob Dylan, we go out to Terry's car and she asks if someone will drive. Sandy volunteers, we get our bags put away and seated when Sandy turns the key to start the engine and the alarm goes off. The car wouldn't start the alarm wouldn't turn off. Lisa is suppose to be back by two to pickup her car. Sandy feels bad becasue she thinks she broke something. I'm wondering if it would be rude to return to the store and knit (where they have a/C) while they sort this out. So basically, all we needed at this point was a monkey and a football.

Terry decides to cut some wire and that didn't work. I call John and he doesn't answer the phone so I call my step-son and he thinks cutting wires probably isn't a good idea. I walk across the street to a British car mechanic ( who si obvioulsy not British) and he directs me to a 76 Station. Get back to the car, Lisa gets hold of the dealer in Thousand Oaks on her cell, they walk Terry through a serious of locking and unlocking her doors and the car still won't start and the alarm still won't stop so they suggest she get towed. Egad!

Lisa and I walk up to the 76 Station, talk to "Hector" the mechanic, he seems extremely amused by our story and volunteers to take a look at the car for us. We walk back and Terry had HOT WIRED HER CAR! She's like McGyver, only with yarn. How Terry knew how to hot wire a car I really didn't want to pry, but I was extremely impressed.

We went to the 18 Street Coffee Shop, which had a great atmosphere, had some great food and planned a bank heist for next week.

It was a great adventure. Good times, Good times.

I Feel Like A Fraud

2007-10-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

To those that think I am a wonderful parent, I have a confession to make. My son Joseph is in jail. I'm not proud of it and I know he isn't either. I just needed to come clean due to the recent posts regarding my "awesomeness" as a parent.

I didn't know until I read on the internet that he had been homeless. Which I find ironic because whenever I am asked why do I associate with Arson, who is homeless, I always resonded that he's somebody's son and I would hope that if it ever happened to one of mine someone would do the same.

So, to make a long story short my parental skills are somewhat sketchy, but in the meantime, I'm waiting on that "my son was inmate of the month" bumper sticker because they've already made him a trustee.

I'm hoping that somewhere in Texarkana, over a bowl of grits for breakfast, something profound will have a "sobering" effect on Joseph, but I don't dare say it out loud because I use to wish my boys would read and I received my first letter from Joseph and at the end of his apology was a request for books.

Moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for and the first thirty years of parenthood really are the hardest.

Three Kids and a Funeral

2007-10-04T22:50:00.000-07:00

Went to a funeral today for my brother-in-laws' father, but to my boys he has always been "Grandpa Gedies. Lover of chocolates, cigars, beer and a good joke.

Roger and Jacob were pallbearers and Sean was in full dress, as Grandpa Gedies had joined the Navy at the ripe old age of 16. Sean marched in front of the coffin as his brothers and other family members carried it into the church and gave Grandpa Gedies one more salute.

Then after the Mass we went to the cemetary and the boys carried Grandpa Gedies one more time to his final resting place. Sean presented a flag to Grandma Gedies and brought an additional flag that had been given to him for his service in Iraq. The flag was flown over Iraq and he presented it to his Uncle Danny, which made it so very special.

I shed tears both for the loss of life and out of pride for my boys for stepping up at a time when someone else needed them.

And to top off the day, Jacob's girlfriend called to let us know she had passed the test Jacob had been helping her with to become a US Citizen.

I don't think I've ever been prouder of those boys.

Tonight's Sleepover

2007-09-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

Astro came to spend the night tonight. His first night back since we gave him to Eli for his birthday. John called me out to the living room like there was some kind ov emergency

This is the first time Blue has ever let Astro on the couch. I think he missed his brother.

Something To Rant About

2007-09-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

For Beatriz

I woke up yesterday to the sounds of barking dogs so I look out my window expecting to see a squirrel or a cat and there is a huge tree limb laying in the yard.

This is an omen, me thinks, as there was no wind and the limb was not dead. It just fell for no apparent reason. And speaking of no apparent reason, Jacob (fruit of my looms) has called me twice this week, not wanting anything.So, naturally I am quite suspicious. So, last night, after a wonderful dinner with Sandy and Marty, he calls again, and he informs me I am to be a grandma. I think I am still numb or in shock. Probably both. I have never met his girlfriend so it's a very strange, surreal sensation to think about your child having a child with a stranger. I know she has two jobs and works seven days a week. Which is one reason he hasn't brought her over.

So, John takes me shopping today. Yeah, now everything is fixed! Not really, but it was sweet of him to wake me up and take me to the Farmer's Market. We, started out at Palermos for coffee. Then we bought organic nectarines, salsa (from Oxnard) Olives from Santa Barbara and the best damn tamales ever! So, we are sitting in the shade eating our tamales (I had Cheese and green chiles John had Chicken) when this poor, unsuspecting Mormon comes up to talk with us about all-time and eternity. He tells us that not only can our marriage on earth last forever, but it can last for an eternity in Heaven. I shuddered and then I told him thank you, I appreciate what you do, but I have been married three times and the last thing I want is to get stuck with an ex forever. This rendered him speechless for about a minute and then he look at John and said,"what about you, sir?" Hey, didn't I just tell you we're not interested? John pointed to me and said, "I'm married to her." Whereby the young man gave him a sympathetic nod and then had the nerve to ask me for names of friends that I could send him to see. I told him religion is a private matter and I would never presume to know even my best friends thoughts on the matter as we are forever evolving in the area of spirituality. He wondered off in a daze.

So,then more shopping. We went to Bella Cosas and I bought John this cool box to put his remotes in. I bought the books there last week to put my jewelry in. It's a great store and they close at 6 so maybe we could check it out one Tuesday and THEN eat. They have the coolest stuff.

In the meantime I need to get started on a baby blanket because Eli is getting a new cousin and my baby is having a baby.

Three Bags Full

2007-09-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

Is the name of the book I bought today. It is the story of George, a beloved sheephearder, who is murdered and his SHEEP solve the mystery. I went in to buy Bill Clinton's new book Giving How Each of Us Can Change The World starting with blowjobs for everybody. Okay I made that part up and I also purchased the Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao.

Guess which one I'm reading first?

Okay I have a plan. They did a study on RLS and 2 people gambled so now it is a side effect. So we know gambling is a compulsive disorder and therefore so is yarn and book buying. We know book collecting is the only hobby to have a disease named after it so I want to be the first in the annals of medicine to be listed as "touched with woolmania" and I am willing to experiment with any drug until I can derive the optimum side effect.

Maybe I'll just stick with the RLS, but I'll have to give John viagra just to keep him from falling out of bed when I kick him.

Progress On The CPH

2007-09-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

I have now sewn up all the seams on my hoodie and I learned a new technique using a crochet hook instead of seaming with a needle. I loved it! Gloria, who is going to be teaching at AFY showed me how to do it on Friday and she even loaned me her hook. Knitters are the nicest people. So, while I was there practicing my new technique Sally Melville arrived at the store. It was very exciting.

Went to Palermo's Saturdya and I started on the hood and I have already knit six inches. I am so excited. Then I went to the Farmer's Market where I got some very tasty necatarines. Then I met a woman who makes beautiful jewelry and art pieces from glass and I bought some earrings a belt buckle and a Christmas gift for _____.

Then I discovered a new store in Camarillo called Bella Cosas and I got the cutest purse by Mary Frances and these leather boxes that look like books for my dresser.

John and I went to a friends birthday party today and Bruce requested my cornbread. I made him the cornbread and surprised him with a pot of ham hocks and beans and it was a hit.

Then, on the way home, we spotted Sandy on the freeway. I never seem to get too far from my knitster sisters.

Fucking HMO Son's of Bitches

2007-09-06T11:21:00.001-07:00

My favorite line from "As Good As It Gets". So anyway, I call my HMO provider "Kaiser" to make an appointment for female plumbing problems. They send to to a guy, whom I've never met and who after asking numerous questions, tells me I have a dysfunction uterus! Well, this is not going to look good on my yearly review as a Quality Control Manager, but it does explain my children.

Apparently this guy is good because he actually gave me a diagnosis without even "assessing the situation." He didn't venture to look "downtown" and he didn't even peak at my "package". And ladies you know what I'm talking about. I don't like putting my feet in stirrups unless there is a horse involved, but come on. Not a blood test, not a urine test Zip! Wait, he did say I looked tired and wanted to know if I was getting enough sleep.

So, I called Planned Parenthood and spoke with the nice folks and found at that you can't be diagnosed with a "dysfunctional Uterus" without having tests performed and they told me what to say so I called back and got an appointment for next week with another doctor or Planned Parenthood will do it for $100. So, I just wanted to put that information out there in case any of you have Kaiser, because the female "annual" checkups are know every three years. I really suck at math.

So,my boss gets back today and what do I do? Sleep in. He must think I do this all the time. So I stop to get coffee, well, what's five more minutes when you're an hour late? Right? Wrong! I park at the tile shop because the parking lot is full at the coffee shop and when I came out a damn dump truck had me blocked.

When I got to work I had realized I had locked the front door thereby locking out the cleaning lady. Now I have to CLEAN HOUSE this weekend.

Thank G-d it Thursday.

Sturgeon Moon

2007-08-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

Tonights the full moon and I don't know if any of you got the chance, but this morning at 2 AM my husband woke me up to see the lunar eclipse and it was awesome.

Only a lunatic gets up at the crack of dawn to see a lunar eclipse. So, naturally there we were with our pack of dogs (who were quite disgruntled when they discovered there was no food involved and they went back to bed mumbling something about opposable thumbs being overrated and a bipedal walker Texas Ranger) and then the shadow fell across the moon and the sky lit up like the Mother Night.

Okay so I leave you with Mani, God of the Moon, and tomorrow Moe and Jack.

Seems Like Forever

2007-08-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

Since I posted last. Work has been busy, two audits in two weeks and we passed both with flying colors. Eli started kindergarten. He sure looks cute in his uniform.

I am making Jacob a Cavendish for either his birthday which is in September or I will give it to him for Christmas. I hope the colors are "manly" enough for him and if not fuck him.

I also started the Lizard Ridge blanket and I really like the color, but my G-d are my hands killing me. I am definitely putting this on hold for awhile until I figure out how to knit backwards.

And last but not least Eli gets to spend every Monday night now with grandma and grandpa while his mom attends college. So we had family supper and Grandpa made meatloaf and potatoes and look at the damage that boys does to an ear of corn

The scab on his elbows was his first boo boo at Kindergarten and he already got a note from the teacher because he brought a toy to class in his pocket.

The cracker don't fall far from the box.

Have You Ever Googled Yourself?

2007-08-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

But not in the Biblical way and came across yourself from the past? I did tonight and I found a book review from 2000.

Disguised as a Poem, Oct 6 2000
By Rebecca K. Gojkovich - See all my reviews

This book is great. Ms. Tannenbaum successfully takes the reader beyond the archaic mindset that society still holds of that of a "criminal" and exposes the "human being" that exists within. Giving a voice to those that society has deemed not worthy to be heard.

And what worthy voices they are! You really must read this book! It was truly a great experience for me. Serving to remind this reader of that age-old question posed by Hillel, "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? If I am only for myself, then what am I? If not now, when?"

Who the fuck was that? And more importantly where did she go?

Okay so on to new things. Everybody needs to check out Heathers video. It is quite awesome and you can see it here . Sarah, Heather's sister, did the filming and I have been on ghost hunts with Heather so I can attest for her credibility inasmuch as you can for something that is totally unexplainable. I'm not quite sure that was a word, but you get my drift.

And she has a totally new hairdoo!

And I just want to say it is great to have our knitster sister Laura with us for a few days and I know you all Sophia as much as I do.

Our little chicks are leaving the nests, ladies, but I so look forward to the trails that they each will blaze.

There was blood on the Saddle

2007-07-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

Blood on the ground and a great big puddle of blood all around.
Cowboy song-author unknown

Okay so I exaggerate, but there was blood on my kitchen floor and all the pets are fine. So, I'm thinking Louis or Eli or both are working for the cat mob. Eli told me he was working in "waste management", but I have my doubts now. Personally, I think he's slinging catnip again.

In any event, something was killed in my kitchen and I have yet to find the remains.

Poor Blue went to the vet Saturday and he is up to 120 lbs so he DEFINITELY needs to go on a diet and lose 20 pounds. I cut his food back and he looks at me with those big eyes like, "Lady, you really should practice what you preach."

Oh, I have exciting news! My boss and his wife went to Oregon and he bought me a knitting bag and two skeins of yarn from Boersma's Knitting Basket. The yarn is 100% Natural Romney from Orchard Farm, in Mcminnville, Oregon. One skein is a cream color and the other skein is a brown.

He just spoils me.

My Little Working Man

2007-07-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

I just couldn't resit taking this picture this morning as Jacob made his lunch for work. John gave him an old lunch box and he bought him Gatorade and Root Beer and cooked him dinner last night. Fried potatoes with fried eggs and fried sausage smothered in cheese and John's homemade salsa. Manly food.

As you can see in the background I have a pile of dishes and another load was already in the dishwasher. The boy eats like a freaking hoover.

Randon Rantings

2007-07-24T22:36:00.001-07:00

So, it is now day 3,496 that I have been held captive by my Central Park Hoodie. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but it sure seems like it. Not only did I screw up on the cables on the front panels the first time, but the second round I neglected to change my needle from a 6 to 8 after I ripped it out again. So, I have now ripped it out for a third time and we will just see what blond moment I have next. I'm not even going to jinx it by showing a progress pictures.

But I will share the lovely yarn that arrived today. It is called Sea Silk and it is just beautiful and they sent the nicest card along with it. I bought it online at Knit-Purl I have no idea what I will knit yet, most likely a shawl, but it is so soft.

I was pleasantly surprised to have Jacob "fruit of my looms" stay the night and his pets sure were ever so glad to see him again. Both pets use to sleep with him when he lived at home. So, to get you up to speed, he's no longer working in the meat department in the Valley. He is now an apprentice in the Carpenter's Union and he's working at the Oaks. So it's closer from here than the valley to drive. And I happen to have stuff to make sandwiches in my refrigerator. (See this is why every time they move out I fill a room with yarn)

This kid changes jobs like I buy yarn. I can't keep up with him anymore. Oh to be young and adventurous again. Wait! I was adventurous last Friday when Sandy, Sophia and I and went to Adventures for Kids and we each got a copy of the new Harry Potter book.

It sure was great to be in an independent book store again.

Okay, Miss Sophia, I updated my blog. Tag, you're it!

What a Weekend!

2007-07-15T14:10:00.000-07:00

I can remember putting my boys into the back seat and driving and them falling asleep like it was just yesterday. Oh, wait it was yesterday! John, Sean and I drove to Canoga Park to pick up Jacob's uncle and then on to Woodland Hills to watch Jacob graduate. I had to miss knit night! And being the Fruit of my Looms that he is Jacob was the ABSOLUTE LAST graduate to walk across the stage.

I know, I should be proud and bragging, but it was hot and they handed out these plasting hands for clapping and there were kids behind me and I was about to ready to go ape shit.

So, we went to dinner with his uncle and buzzin cousins Krissy and Ikaika

Then today I dive to my local coffee shop and they are having a dad gum street fair and the streets were blocked and parking was jacked up so needless to say I was quite cranky by the time I got my morning cup of coffee. And Arson was there with his bible study group, saw I was cranky and gave me a rose. And then he told the group I was his adopted mom. Is that not the sweetest thing?

Came home in a good mood and and was going to do housework and I always start with the bed and since Louis refused to move I went on strike.

Did I Mention I Was Born With My Foot In My Mouth?

2007-07-08T21:13:00.001-07:00

I was hanging out at my local coffee shop today knitting where I meet the nicest people. Okay, he wasn't there today, but I did buy him someting for his nose.

So, I'm knitting and as always, knitting is an ice breaker and people come up, ask questions, yadda yadda yadda. So today this lovely couple were in town from Thousand Oaks. Big drive. She was admiring my Central Park Hoodie and we talked about yarn stores. She'd never heard of AFY so I gave her directions. A really nice lady. They're getting ready to go to Florida. She knit a sweater for her granddaughter and her grandson wants a vest.

So, then her husband and I start to talk and they had gone to see the Tennessee Three last night in the park. We have free concerts in Constitution Park during the summer months and John and I had gone with Sandy and Marty and we had a great time, but we never heard the end of where Sandy and I had strategically situated the chairs. You see, when we placed the chairs on the grass they were in the shade. When we went back to watch the concert the sun HAD MOVED! True story, I wouldn't shit you.

Okay, so back to the coffee shop. So this man and I were talking about the concert and how they should do someting about the kids running around and then he says something silly about women and knitting. And my standard line with all men is "Did you bring your whittling?" And I'll be go to hell if that man didn't show me a scar about three inches long on his left hand (palm area) that he got from WHITTLING! "True story", his wife said.

Who the fuck still whittles?

Hi, My Name Is Eli

2007-07-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

And it's been eight minutes since I had my last hit of catnp.

I walked in the door and sprawled all over the floor was Eli and a bag of catnip accidently left where he had access.

How long he was rolling around in the catnip I have no idea, but he was toasted when I got home. At one point he bumped the door and thought it was attacking him.

Louis tried to cut in on the action and then a fight broke out and I had to send him outside.

I'm thinking an intervention is in order.

If You're Not Outraged You're Not Paying Attention

2007-07-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am not a viewer of the O'Reilly Cluster Fuck, but I caught a glimpse of it last night at JJ's and the bastard was talking smack about Will Ferrells' the Landlord. How the fuck is that news? It's comedy much like the mayor's extramarital affair. What a joke.

Al Gore's son caught with drugs WHILE DRIVING A PRIUS is not news. But the fact they go 100mph is.

The fact that a lake disappeared in two months due to global warming is news.

And today of all days, this is news

and this is news.

To all the men and women who serve their country, I thank you for your service.

Conversations with Mother

2007-07-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

Mother told me a story she made up about me and my pets today.

Louis to Eli: Have you notice how clean the place is these days?

Eli to Louis: Yes, and have you noticed our owner has started to grow claws?

Louis to ELi: Yes I did. You don't think she'll start using the litter box do you?

Hank to the cats: Hell no her butt's too big.

Is it any wonder I turned out like I did?

Vacation Day Who Knows

2007-06-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm really starting to enjoy this. Today I slept in until EIGHT THIRTY! Which is quite late for me. I'm having a great time, in spite of assholes like I ran into yesterday.

I was in line at Rite Aid getting John's prescription and the man at the head of the line was causing a raucous and belittling the young man working and this horrid woman kept laughing. Finally the young man had had enough and he told the man if he disrespected him one more time he wouldn't wait on him and he was very polite while doing this. And then went on to remind that man that as an ADULT he should know better. Well the man turned around with a smirk and I recognized him as the guy in charge of sending kids on missionary services, or whatever you call them, at a local church in town. He hangs out at Palermos's. I had just spoke with him Tuesday, for crying out loud, because we were talking about how I read children's' books every summer. He complained to the manager wanting the young man fired! This is an adult in charge of youths?

Okay, so then the horrid lady gets her turn and all the while she kept laughing while the young man was trying to be professional with the irate Jesus Freak, saying out loud that if she were on welfare or an illegal alien she would be treated better. She gets rung up and then she yells that she's not going to pay for a prescription twice. He explains that her doctor prescribed 15 pills (half a day) and then he called in another fifteen. Which is a new prescription. She says she's suppose to take one pill a day now, demands to talk to the pharmacist and then wants the pharmacist to call her doctor RIGHT NOW. I walked up beside her and said perhaps she should call her doctor as that's how the civilized world works. The computer doesn't know the doctor increased her dosage and these people are just trying to do their jobs and yelling at them isn't helping and perhaps she should get some fake documents and say she's from Canada. She pretended I wasn't there or was rendered speechless. In any event, she finally shut the fuck up! Which was all I wanted and I'm sure the 18 people waiting in line as well.

I finally got my turn and picked up John's pill, left, called back, talked with the pharmacist and told him he deserves hazardous pay. Something diabolical need to be done to those people who are so rude to people who are just trying to do their jobs. I mean, do they really believe that they fuck with them on purpose so they can stand there and get yelled at and not yell back?

Update

Eli came to spend the night and Grandpa showed Eli a lovely trick that involves pulling ones finger. Eli fled the room, came back and told Grandpa, "don't do that! That was disgusting." You go Eli, I've been telling him that for years. Eli told us all about his fishing trip. He is such a man now. Fish stories already?

Eli modeled my new Cavendish while standing next to Jacob's cat Eli who has taken over the yarn room. They are both such hams. My son Sean is finally going to be home for at least three years so the move into their new house today and Eli gets a dog from the pound. He's so excited and he wants one like Hank.

And Bob's your Uncle.

Vacation Day Two

2007-06-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

Has taught me that you know you are technologically challenged when homeless people offer you tips on electronics. My friend Arson, (and yes, I will talk to anybody if they are interesting) taught me that I can lock my iPod and do a whole bunch of other shit. Then he commandered some guys laptop and we looked at websites. Gross stuff, something my boys would do to try and shock me. It is just amazing what people will let you get away with if you have tattoos on your face. I need one for work, most definitely, but more like a decal. John can barely handle that I talk to homeless people let alone get a tattoo. What a fuddy duddy. I never get to do anything.

I sat and knitted at the local coffee shop while Arson played guitar, recited (more like shouted) the words to Big Rock Candy Mountain with a PUNK twist and then he joined me for lunch and we chatted about religion and politics until Sandy arrived and then they talked about deviated septums, tribal tattoo's, etc., and I didn't know what the hell was going on. First, a homeless guy upstages me with technology (he has a myspace account, for crying out loud) and then, Sandy blows me away with her major street props. I don't know exactly what that means, but I sure like saying it. So while they were chatting it up, I talked some businessmen into turning off a generator that was city property that was making an ungodly noise running lights in broad daylight. Well, it was making an annoying noise that was giving Sandy a headache. And we can't have that. Arson would have done it if I asked, but he has enough fines as it is for "camping illegally" in Camarillo. I mean, where do they expect homeless people to sleep? Arson bought us dessert which was a brownie with a hot cinnamon roll on top all smothered in whip cream. He calls it the monster.

We saw a baby, I shit you not, named Rebecca, aged six months and she likes DR PEPPER!!! Is that not cool, or what?

Then Sandy and I joined the knitster sisters for dinner at JJ's and John joined us. Sandy thought she really liked Sophia's new purse until Sandy realized it was a menu and John tried real hard not to crack up and probably has a new opinion of my homeless friend.

I hope everyone enjoyed dinner as it was a real treat for Sandy and me to stay close to home for a change. Not that Ventura is THAT far away, but it is nice to just hop in ones car and be home once in awhile. I could and should have walked to the coffee shop, but that's not going to happen.

I went in to work today Day Three to do some invoicing and got into a fight with the Controller WHILE WEARING A GHANDI SHIRT! Okay this is how it went. One of the guys that works for me, well, his wife was pregnant and she lost the baby. Very sad. So, he stayed home with her this week in lieu of working AS HE SHOULD HAVE. We get bereievement pay and I put in a request that he get paid and the controller tells me IT DIDN'T FALL UNDER THE GUIDELINES BECAUSE NO DEATH WAS INVOLVED. Now remember, I'm wearing my Ghandi shirt that says "Peace Hero" plus I just knew he was going to pull some shit like that so I didn't argue and told him to do and walked away. He then wrote me a memo and placed it under my door which I had previously slammed and then stomped my foot. I might have even said fiddle dee dee, I'm not real clear on that, but what an ASSHOLE. He was quoting IRS jargon, blah blah blah. He was then TOLD to do it by a man who outranks me and everybody else in the plant so now he's going to do it.

See, this is where a tattoo on my face would come in handy.

Vacation Day One

2007-06-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

So, I had my first half day off for vacation today and so far the highlight of the day was my new temporary crown on tooth number 19 and the field mouse in my house

Went into work for a couple of hours, came home and decided to knit and watch television. Rosie isn't going to replace Bob Barker on the Price is Right. Paris Hilton's trash is for sale on ebay and there is a media frenzy expected when she gets liberated tomorrow or is she out as I write this? And didn't we already liberate Paris once before from that pesky Hitler? I just hope this doesn't put a damper on dinner at JJ's and knit night at Palermo's tomorrow. I had enough of the paparazzi at the Summer Solstice party. Oh and some lawyer thinks his pants are worth 54 million.

I was completely engrossed (apparently being on vacation lowers your IQ) and the phone rang and I was late for my dental appointment. Yippeeee

Came home and there was a mouse in the house. He scampered under the dishwasher and later tonight he was cornered by one Jack Russell and two cats and that little mouse stood his ground. I tried to get John to watch, I mean it was like National Fucking Geographic right in our living room, but he can't handle violence and was relieved to know that the mouse made it safely under the couch. The pets soon tired and either I'll find it dead in my bed tomorrow ala Revenge of the Godfathers Pets or he makes it out the doggie door.

Egad I have two more weeks of this. I think I'll give alcoholism a try. Did you know that housework makes a martini fun? No, that's not right.

A Concert with Jacob

2007-06-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

The Kelly Richy Band concert was cancelled at the Ventura Theatre, but not to worry because Jacob, fruit of my looms, came to my rescue and serenaded me on his acoustic bass which he lovingly refers to as "his baby".

We had Lemon Drop Martinis together which was a first. He had one and we'll just say I had more than one.

I spruced up the yarn room and started to place my new yarn snugly in its' new home.

I went and bought an antique Chinese Knitting basket and then I received a phone call from a woman and she is coming next week to CLEAN MY HOUSE. John, love of my life and sneaky devil to boot, has been working on his nephew's patio cover and got the number of their maid.

I feel absolutely decadent, but I better start cleaning house.

My Loot

2007-06-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

So the day starts out with work as usual. Mom calls and she doesn't need to go to the doctor after all. (she hurt her back a week ago vacuuming) So since the shop is shut down I asked to leave early and met up with Sandy and Sophia for an adventure in shopping. I explained to my boss that it was a knitting emergency and surprisingly he understood and let me go. He's so cool.

We made it to BB's unscathed and believe me there were some crazy drivers out today (NOT COUNTING SANDY. I'm kidding! I will travel anywhere with her) we shopped until we dropped. I convinced Sandy to park at the Coffee Bean and then we Jay walked to BB's! We were breaking the law people. I am such a bad influence. We ate somewhere in Summerland that Sophia suggested and I had a delicious burger and onion rings.

Then we went on to Ventura to knit at AFY. We took a detour and showed Sandy some of the finer camp sites in Ventura and then we ended up at Palermo's. I can't even begin to explain how hilarious trying to find a parking spot was or why. Perhpas I was giddy from all the shopping. We came across a store that sales nothing but stuff form Ireland. I bought John a beautiful cabled sweater to surprise him with before I told him how much I spent at BB's. I'm kidding. I snuck the yarn in while he was in the shower and have insulated my yarn room with it. We made it to AFI and were so excited to be there that we almost left the car running and walked away. I got the cutest little purse and MORE YARN!

The conversation at AFY was quite racy this week. We discussed irons, steamers, vacuums, (Dyson versus Windtunnel) Christa's trip to Germany and the hightlight was Laura called and filled us in on her andventures at school. It was all quite heady stuff. I was so mentally exhasted I had to pass on Mimi's and go home. Plus, Jacob wanted me to e-mail him his resume from a disc. I took Jacob to Palermo's and we sang along with System of a Down on my new stereo.

"Dreaming of screaming
someone kick me out of my mind
I hate these thoughts I can deny"

And then Jacob took a picture of me with my loot and he told me he thinks I am DE AGING! Is that not the sweetest thing you ever heard? Maybe he's planning on blackmailing me with it at a later date.

Father's Day 2007

2007-06-17T21:43:00.000-07:00

John and his kids (Jackie and Little John) get entertained by a magician while we wait to eat. Then we went bowling!

Classmates dot com

2007-06-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

I received an e-mail from an old schoolmate. We've kept in touch via classmates which is a way cool venue for keeping in touch with old friends.

James and I had this class called "outdoor education" together with Coach Tacket (aka Ticky Tackett) where the class met in the football field and tied knots and maybe they taught us how to put up tents. I don't recall all of the details because it was the '70's. Need I say more? I think we walked to the beach for our final exam and had a bbq. Anyway I know we had food because James brought pancit which I had never had before and James claims I called it something expletive. Me? Why,I would never do such a thing. Anyway, I love the stuff.

So, anywho James is going to be playing at the Majestic Ventura Theater this weekend (June 22nd) with the Kelly Richie Band

I think it 's time for the knitster sisters to have a non-knit night.
So check out the link I've attached and if you like what you hear come join John and me and maybe you ladies can get him drunk and talk him into remodeling your kitchens.

28 Hours Without Caffeine

2007-06-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

Or How I spent My Morning with the Cardiologist

So I go to the doctors get weighed in, ( which is traumatic, to say the least) get injected with some nuclear medicine (which is how I suspect they dispose of nuclear waste) and am told to sit in a waiting room for the dye to kick in. There is an 81 year old man already there. I know he's 81 because he tells me right off the bat and then he wants to know if I am going to molest him. I say no. He wants to know why not. I threaten to poke him with my knitting needle. He wants to know if I will knit him a hat to keep the hair out of his eye. (He has no hair). I have three more hours of this. Oy vey!

I show his daughter how how to pick up a dropped a stitch with a crochet hook. She is utterly amazed and now I feel like fucking Hoodini!

I go and have pictures of my heart in a stationary position and fall asleep.

Go back and the old dude wants to know if I brought beer! I’m telling you I have some kind of radar for the eccentric. He goes on to tell me he hasn’t had a drink or a smoke in over 35 years. I, on the other hand, am now considering taking it up. At least that way, if the doctor find something wrong I have something other than knitting, sex or food to give up. Wow! I just realized on my priority list knitting came first. No pun intended.

The doctor arrives and I am forced to walk on the treadmill. I have never walked that far on my horse let alone on foot. Two minutes into the test the doctor looks at the sheet that the computer is spitting out and he says OH MY GOD! I stopped walking and damn near fell over as the treadmill was still going and said what? He says to me, “we still have 45 minutes to go on this test.” “That is so not cool,” I said. "You don't look at a patients report and say OH MY GOD!" He then grabs the monitor and very loudly yells, “OH MY GOD! DIAL 9-1-1”. About 10 seconds later a nurse was at the door and we would have been struck dead if looks could kill.

I am now walking as if I were in hot pursuit of a yarn sale and the doctor says “Does your chest hurt?” I reply “No, but my fucking legs are killing me.” He looks at his young assistant, who has been taking notes as the doctor calls them out and says, “put on her report HER FUCKING LEGS ARE KILLING HER! Okay read that back to me” I though the kid was going to die. I’m cracking up on the treadmill, which I don’t recommend by the way, because I know I cuss a lot, but I hadn’t realized I had cussed until the doctor repeated what I said. The doctor then sees my knitting and asks if I want the knitting simulator. Great, my cardiologist the comedian. Maybe he's a long lost nephew of Groucho.

I finish up and go rest and then get more picture taken of my heart and apparently I fell asleep because I woke myself up snoring.

I just hope that was the only noise coming from my body.

Central Park Hoodie

2007-05-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I have finished the back of my hoodie and am now working on the front left. After several attempts it was pointed out to me by Sophia that the pattern (ribbing section) was incorrect. I thought I was loosing my mind. I'm just glad it didn't happen while doing the back or I'm sure I would have given up.

So anywaze, have had a great weekend thus far. Had great food at Cheryl's. Her burgers were wonderful and Terry's salad was delicious. Sophia brought some bread that her mother made that was delicious and John made salsa.

Here's one more shot of the hoodies taken by Lisa.

I Think I Might Have Joined a Cult

2007-05-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

I started my CPH this weekend. I started it initially last week, but my gauge was off so I was bummed and then Terry showed up at the store, and knitting genius that she is, she told me to just knit two (2) sizes bigger. I never would have thought of that.

So, Friday night while the girls were over, I started on it, which was a bad thing to do because I still have my sleeves to finish on my Elsbeth Lavold's Ruth sweater. Oh, and Friday over wine and food, Cheryl finished her Elsbeth Lavold Sweater. The picture I took doesn't begin to do the cables justice. It's just gorgeous.

So, after much wine and gumbo, (my equivalent to tea and sympathy) we looked at porn. I'M KIDDING. We just chatted and what not. I must admit I feel rather impotent as my homemade french bread did not rise so I had to make cornbread to go with my seafood gumbo. Which is a major faux pas. You have to have bread with gumbo and cornbread with hoppin' John. Any who we had a little get together because, as you all know, Laura is going off to college and in my family food is how we express love. So much love was poured into my Seafod Gumbo for Laura as she ventures off and we definitely need to plan a road trip to Portland, ladies!

Well, I better tidy up the house and dispose of the wine bottles before John gets home from San Diego. I have to admit it sure is cool having the house to myself on the weekends. Jacob even visited Friday (he owed me money) so he ate with us and opened the wine bottles and waited on the girls. I'm not naming any names, but one of the knitster sister was quite smitten with him BACK OFF LADY! He's my baby and he just barely got his braces removed. Hmmmm, maybe she has a thing for teeth.

PS Thank you Sophia for fixing the date on my camers.

I Will Do Anything To Get Out Of Work

2007-05-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

So, I'm on my way to the gas station on my lunch hour, minding my own business and I run out of diesel. Ironically, I had told my boss before I left I was taking a long lunch. I had no idea. So, after I panicked, I called AAA, my boss, my husband (I get his voice mail) and my purchasing manager, (who is a race car driver), in that order.

AAA advised me they will be here in thirty minutes, and since I never miss an opportunity to knit, guess what I did? Exactly. I had all the stuff to knit myself a blanket, if need be. So, I'm knitting while blocking traffic, getting the darndest glares and my phone rings and the Tow Truck driver can't find me. Are you sure you're on Rice? Yes, I'm in front of Big T's Freightlines. Okay, I may have ran out of diesel, but I know where the hell I am.

The tow truck drivers shows up and I explain to him I was on my way to the gas station and I think I might have run out of diesel and he lectures me. Nervy little bastard. " Lady," he says, "do you know what you have to do when you run out of diesel?" "Yes", I say, "you have to prime the engine (I had just learned that from my purchasing manager btw.)which is why I have AAA." He was not amused. So he tells me I'll tow you where ever you want to go, but the gas station up the road is out of business and I'm not priming your engine. So, I decide he should tow me home as my husband has no problem priming my engine so I'm sure he can fix the diesel.

He got my truck ready to be towed. I look at the truck through the rear window and I am reminded that John and I were married in this truck at the drive thru in Vegas which reminds me that John and Sandy share the same birthday. Which makes me think, "I wonder what Sandy is doing?" So, I call Sandy from the cab of the truck and tell her what happened. We both agree Oy' vey what a day we're having and agree we should go knit, IMMEDIATLEY.

On the drive home the tow truck driver and I are talking, because as my brother always said, I would talk to a serial killer if I were standing next to him in line. He tells me about the decline of gas stations and how no one knows how to work on a car much less a diesel engine. He tells me about his friend, Leo, who worked as a mechanic for 20 years and now the gas station where Leo worked isn't going to have mechanics because they are being foreced to put in a small store. I ask, "Is it Leo from the Chevron on Hemlock and Victoria?" And it is! What a small world.

I make it home, Sandy picks me up and we're off for another adventure.

Say It Loud I Knit and I'm Proud

2007-05-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

June 9th is is World Wide Knit in Public Day so I have a suggestion.

After reading and hearing about the horror stories of women who are denied the right to knit FOR A WHOLE DAY in courthouses across the nation, (which I believe falls under Cruel and Unusual Punishment) this travesty cannot continue, ladies. I could take somebody out with "War and Peace" (hardback, of course) for crying out loud, and they're worried about knitters?

I say we pack a picnic lunch, bring a blanket and chairs and knit in front of the Government Center in Ventura.

We could bring signs, like "don't unravel our rights" or something along those lines. Get T-shirts made for our first annual "knit-in". (It is actually the second annual knit in public day)

Allright knitster sisters, whose with me?

Be Nice To Someone In Retail Day

2007-05-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

Someone equated my blog to a Seinfeld episode and now I completely understand the soup Nazi. I have been observing certain individuals at my local coffee shop and I can’t take it anymore. They are rude and I want to cause them bodily damage. For example, this one “lady” ordered a Fireside Chai and then she brings it back and wants “ice” because it’s too hot! Okay, lady, you don’t order a drink with fire anywhere in its’ name and then complain about the heat.

NO TEA FOR YOU!

And today a man walked up to the counter, WHEN IT WAS MY TURN TO ORDER, and asked if they could rinse his sunglasses off. What the hell. You can't walk your fat ass down to the bathroom and wash your own glasses? It’s a coffee shop! They are not your servants. They make you coffee, tea and the occasional smoothie. Which I still don’t get. Why would you go to a coffee shop for a drink that has no caffeine?

And them fat ass B’s that order a drink and then substitute the steamed milk with soy, but want EXTRA WHIP CREAM. What the hell? It's udder madness. And here's a hint. When you order your drink tell them the size first. It’s universal that they write on the cup what you want in the cup. So after you’re done telling them you want a carmel latte with ½ soy and ½ half-and-half with extra ice, a shot of espresso and double up on the whip cream. Do not huff and sigh and stomp your size 9 squeezed into a 7 ½ pump when they ask you again after they finally break the freakin code as to what size you want. For the love of god!

My point is, what the fuck was my point? Damn, now I’ve lost my train of thought. Oh here it is now. Be nice to the people in retail. They don’t make the big bucks and they didn’t sign up to clean your glasses or watch your kid running amock after you've gotten the snot nosed little brat hopped up on hot chocolate.

Which, I swear to G-d if that kid runs by me one more time I'm tripping his little ass.

Mother's Day 2007

2007-05-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

I woke up to the sound of barking dogs at 6 AM. I could hear a sound at the back door like someone was trying to break in. I went to investigate and there was Jacob standing at the back door, juggling a bouquet of pink roses and a card while trying to fight the dogs off. They were so excited to see him.

I called off the hounds and let him in, eventually. I put the roses in water and went to brush my teeth and came out to find him fast asleep in my bed. Hank guarded him while I went to get coffee. I made him breakfast (sausage and eggs) while listening to Green Day.

He ate and showed me how to work the DVD player, again, and then it was time for him to leave for work. We sat in the garden for a moment, my head on his shoulder, and watched the hummingbirds flutter about and talked a bit. He told me how he rememberd when I taught him how to play catch, how we use to lay on the grass and watch clouds, and when I taught him how to roll down a grassy hill. We even laughed about the time I chased him with an axe.

And then he really had to go. I came back into the house and rearranged my flowers and read my card. and I bawled like a baby.

It's the best cry I've had in a long time.

I Am Technologically Retarded

2007-05-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

I have had the television on mute for the last 45 minutes (Note to self: Have Laura teach me how to use DVD player.) listening for a fucking beep. That's right. A beep. I thought it was the microwave. Nope. Then I checked the smoke detector only to discover it's not there. (scary music plays in background)

So I'm all alone on a Saturday night (John is staying in San Diego until tomorrow) and I am going insane because I cannot locate a beep. I stand in the hallway with my arms acrossed my chest lying in wait like a stalker and then I hear it again! It's coming from the office area. I probably looked like Barney Fife when I turned that corner and saw the computer and the printer were both on. Aha! So I check them both and no beep. And then I look down and to my horror I discover it is my new fucking phone. It beeps? (scary music gets louder)

How retarded am I? Apparently Jacob called again! He left a message to see if I was okay while John was gone.

My child had the ability to do a good deed and PISS ME OFF in one shot.

Damn, he's good.

I Think My Sweater is Possessed

2007-05-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I'm just at the point on my sweater where we left off when I had to rip it back a ways. And now I can't find my freakin book! I have looked everywhere!

And this morning when I went to take a photo to post my progress my computer wouldn't open my scandisc stating the disc was full when I plugged it in. So I had to go to My Computer and find my removable thingamagig and find the picture and open it and save it my desktop because my photo program (Picassa) wouldn't open it.

Does any one see a pattern here? It's fucking mocking me.

And ironically, I had a dream about blogging last night. I had a dream about some indigenous people that lived off the earth and they had three black cats that helped them hunt and in my dream I posted about them on my blog, but failed to provide a link, and eveyone thought I made them up. What the fuck?

And am I getting paranoid or has anyone beside me noticed that we never get the same waiter/waitress at Mimi's twice? Do they have to draw straws? Do they hire a new person just to serve us on Thursdays? And what is up with that strange man who comes to our table every freakin Thursday? Quite frankly, he freaks me out.

So, back to my sweater. I wasn't going to start anything until I finished this sweater. Next on my list is the Cult Classic Central Park Hoodie and a baby blanket for one of my guys at work who is going to have is first child. And now I'm at a stand still. Do I break down and buy the book again knowing I will find it as soon as I bring it into the house? Do I start something else and risk forgetting where I left off and completely screwing this sweater up? (not that I can't all on my own, mind you.) Am I posting extraneous bullshit in hopes that the cat box will clean itself?

Stay tuned.

We Are Not Amused

2007-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

She looks like she wants to beat him like biscuit dough. It was embarassing enough that the waterhead retard, back in 1991 when his father was president, quipped to the Queen, "I'm the black sheep of the family. Who's yours?" Who knew the Queen was privvy to the first Bushism?

Fast forward to 2007 and not only does he damn near place her on the throne since the 1800's, but, wait there's more. He winked at the Queen.

For some reason when I saw that picture I could immediately hear Sandy's voice in head.

"Well for crying out loud you don't wink at the Queen. What were you thinking?"

Abstract Rantings

2007-05-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

I came home tonight after spending a great evening with the knitster sisters to a quiet house. The girls and I had great laughs, the food was okay, the waiter was cute and I joked about the funny things I would put on my blog tonight.

This wasn't on the list and if you're expecting funny, look away. This is extremely "depressing", for lack of a better word. I don't even know what to call it.

Like I said, I came home to a quiet house. John and Hank were in bed so I turned off the television and decided to go through the bills. Among the bills, and other extraneous crap that is deliverd to my house, I noticed a small, but soon to be powerful envelope. One which I hesitated to open upon reading the return address. It was from my sister and my brother-in-law.

Their lives have been forever altered in such a manner that I still cannot even fathom. To say I cannot wrap my fucking brain around it would be an understatement. Bill's daughter, Rebecca, was murdered about a month ago by a man. Her cowardly husband, who was soon to be an ex, did the plotting, while some other slime-of-the earth carried out the deed. They will remain nameless, because evil deserves no fucking recognition and may they all ROT IN HELL!

I don't even feel right writing about this, but when I opened that envelope fully expecting to see the words "thank you" but instead I gazed upon her face I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I don't know what it is I am experiencing, but the intense expression on her face, the sadness in her eyes, the manner in which she holds her head is haunting me.

So Many Questions

2007-05-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

My grandson Eli, spent the weekend. Today went something like this. Eli "What happens if you put honey on you?" Me" You would get sticky." Eli "what happens if you run outside?" Me "The bees would get you." Eli "why?" Me "Bee's like honey. And speaking of bees, did you know that 90% of our food supply is based upon bees pollinating plants and there was a recent study performed and there is a shortage of bees that could affect our food supply? Eli" Can I have some juice, Grandma?"

Nice try kid, but you are dealing with a professional. Just ask your father and three uncles.

Yesterday we went to see Spiderman 3. Not something I would pick out, but when I'm in grandma mode all logic goes to the wind. It's in the bi-laws. The paragraph right after never question a grandma's statistics. So we had popcorn and icee's and something chewy and extremely sour which made us make funny faces each time we had one and we did it over and over again and giggled until the music got scary and Eli would cover his ears, but still watched the movie. That's a new one.

We went home and I bought him his first glove and we played catch in the front yard. He has a pretty good arm and with more practice eventually he will throw it somewhere in my location. He's only five.

Then came time for chores. He watered the garden and wanted to know why did the cat's kill a lizard. (My garden is littered with lizard remains. I will spare you photos) So, I explained how cats hunt. And then he discovered that when sprayed, water makes a rainbow. "how come?" Okay I admit it, I made something up. I lied to a child. But I'm tired and I haven't knitted in two days and after questions like "why can't apples swim?" and "you said I could have juice and I want pickle juice." And two days of Spongebob(which by the way is not a new form of contraception) and I was a Teenage Robot, there's gotta be something in the by-laws for that one. I think I need absolution and I'm not even Catholic.

Public Displays of Candor

2007-05-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

I spent today at the WCAB ON MY FREAKIN DAY OFF! Why, you ask? Because I was served a subpoena that stated I was to be there at 8:30 AM so, naturally, I was there at 8:15 AM not wanting to be late, which would be rude and the freakin judge moseys in at 10:30AM!

Don't ask me why, but I just can't take a man wearing a robe seriously.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. So we're waiting on the judge and there were at least 5 lawyers and several witness and out of all these people this laywer named Jimmy Page (I'm not making this up) starts telling me about his days as a roadie for The Doors. He told me about the first of many times he dropped acid. It was legal at the time, he pointed out, and it was on a sugar cube. He told me he got concerned when he saw a blue light bulb come out of his head. He also told me that Jim Morrison has been reincarnated as a cat that has been seen sleeping on Jim Morrison's headstone.

Your Honor? May I be dismissed?

He told me about the time Grace Slick kicked his ass and she drives a white VW Rabbit with Grace on the license plate. This happens to me all the time (these displays of candor by perfect strangers) and I don't mind them, but it seems that others around me are alarmed or at the very least uncomfortable by these displays of public candor. I don't know if they think I'm uncomfortable or what. Maybe it's my aura or perhaps I look like a nut and that is what draws them to me. Oh, and speaking of nuts, he also told me that his aunt, who was mentally ill, was let out of a Mental Institute in the LA area and was given a one way bus ticket to Vegas during the Reagan Adminstration! Can you believe that shit? They sent her to VEGAS? And her family, in California, then had to retrieve her. Does anyone know if this is factual? If so, I'm pissed. I made my horse stand in the hot sun to watch his funeral procession go by and I would not have done so had I known he let mentally ill people go to Sin City. I mean, a field trip would be okay, but dumping them in the desert is not cool.

So, like I said, the judge shows up at 10:30 just in time to ask a few questions, let everybody introduce themselves, get settled and the next thing you know we're breaking for recess. I thought, "Cool! Who wants to play Dodge Ball?"

We went to TGIF's and our lawyer sprang for lunch which was, to quote Laura, "Sweet". Our lawyer, who was previously dumbfounded by Jimmy Page's public display then went on to tell me she is a Hindu and her son just married a women who practices jainism. Which, for some reason, made me not feel guilty after I had ordered the Jack Daniels Burger, being she was Hindu and all.

So, we got back from lunch where we waited on the judge again and I overheard the damndest things. These laywers were discussing the new language on amputations. Amputations? My ears picked up, as I've been honing my eavesdropping skils at Mimi's on a regular basis. Apparently, it's not a limb anymore. It's a bone fragment. Tissue removed by means of microscopic/orthoscopic surgery. One lawyer said her client had a cyst removed and according to the new language THAT was considered an amputation. At that point, I interrupted and pointed out that by their definition I had performed an amputation on myself when I removed an unsightly blackhead and then I added that I was going to have to look up some morticians for some uplifting conversation. Lawyers for the applicant are a gruesome lot.

Then they discussed that four year old who was tackled by a football player and what kind of lawsuit would come out of it. It was a pretty disgusting display. Where's a sugar cube when you need it? Again, I had to speak my mind and state that at some point people need to take responsibility for their own actions and suck it up.

It was like blasphemy.

Eventually I was sworn in and was questioned and the applicants attorney didn't even cross examine me! What the fuck? That just can't be good.

Oh, and I was KIP'ing (knitting in public) the whole time and I gave the name of our LYS to two lawyers who I did not observe drooling over potential football lawsuits and amputations.

Luna-Tic

2007-05-01T22:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's full moon is the Flower Moon and I certainly have an abundance of flowers in bloom, so I think the name is quite appropriate.

I love the full moon and not just because lunatic and loony are derivatives of luna. You just have to admire something that has the ability to cause gravitational pulls on large bodies of water.

I love the stories of were-wolf transformations during the full moon. And little green men and defiant women, like the Chinese moon goddess Heng O, symbol of the cold and dark yin, who defied her husband, stole half of his mortality elixer and fled to the moon.

Okay, it's damn near 12 o'clock and I'm writing about gravitational pulls and full moons. I definitely had too much coffee with the girls. Or did I?

Muwahahahahahahaha

The Horror!

2007-04-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

Went to Palermo's to knit with Sandy and Terry today and I was so excited because I was this close to start on the neck portion of my sweater when Terry pointed out my cables looked funny.

I can't believe I missed whole sections like that. And I can't believe as many times as I have measured the front I never noticed. (Please submit blonde joke here)

I'm just so glad Terry was there to show me how to rip it out and that Sandy was there for moral support. Lois even helped long distance. I didn't have my book with me and I drove home and couldn't find it, but I did grab Infidel for Terry to borrow and Lois was kind enough to tell me how to decrease AGAIN! Oh well, live and learn.

Then we went to JJ Brewsky's for lunch. I had the kobe burger with bleu cheese and it was delicious. And so were Sandy's french fries.

Sandy headed off for a hair appointment and Terry and I walked off our lunch by window shopping at a few local antique shops and then we looked at tile

Isn't that a pretty sight? John is going to put up two temporary false walls and tear down the weight bearing wall (egad) and replace it with a beam so the room is bigger. How we went from laying tile to tearing down walls, I really have no idea.

I just hope he's a better carpenter than I am a knitter.

Family Time

2007-04-22T12:31:00.001-07:00

Took the boys to dinner at Olas. Sean (that's him in the hat) had three days of liberty from San Clemente Island. Jacob and Sean haven't seen each other in six months, so naturally as brothers they had to catch up on important issues. Jacob just completed school. Sean is now going to be an Instructor at the Hueneme base. Strangely these events were not discussed.

This is how their dinner conversation went and you have to picture the conversation was going on behind napkins so I couldn't hear the content" Sean to Jacob "So, you seeing anyone?" Jacob to Sean, "Yeah". Sean to Jacob,"what's her body like?" Jacob to Sean, She has pretty big B*&^s, not the kind that hang, though." Sean to Jacob, "You wearing a raincoat, right?" At this point I interjected, "I can HEAR you. My little Einsteins! I can't believe they actually thought I could not hear them across the table because they used NAPKINS. Is what the United States Navy teaches him?

In the presence of the enemy, AKA your mother, to muffle your conversation always use a napkin. She will be so pleased at your display of manners it will render her deaf.

So, I hosed the boys off and we all went to the new Camarillo Library where Eli got his first library card. He picked out The House at Pooh corner for is first book to check out.

But I have the sneaky suspicion that Eli is going to grow up and talk behind napkins.

Knitting Library

2007-04-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

I've added a link to my knitting books on the sidebar.

What A Glorious Day Part II

2007-04-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Started out the day with a jaunt to the LYS with my partner in crime Sandy to cash in my coupon and I bought more sock yarn. Then we went to Terry's for a Rip It Party and it was a blast. She had the best eats, coffee and the conversation was scandalous, as usual. It's always great to spend the day with the knitser sisters and Terry has a beautiful home and it was so generous of her to open it up to us.

On the way home I showed Sandy how to get to Camarillo via Saticoy. She had never been to Saticoy! Note to self: Get Sandy out more often.

Then the Fruit of my Looms dropped in to use my phone to call his girlfriend. Her name is Jasenia (Ya-sen-ya) and she is from El Salvador and all he could talk about was her cooking. Then he got off the phone and I caught him dancing! Is my baby in love?

He spent the rest of the visit pilfering through my refrigerator so I fixed him up with a care package because he's looking skinny.

Needless to say I'm exhausted. Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday so I can get some rest.

Knitting Library

2007-04-14T22:06:00.001-07:00

I'm posting my knitting books because:

A) There is nothing more annoying than buying a book for one pattern;
B) I need something to do while I upload music to my iPod.

So, if there's a book you would like to borrow, let me know and I'll bring it to "Knit Night" in a brown paper bag. (wink, wink)

WARNING!!! There is no logic to their order.

Knit Wit
Poncho Wraps
Dogs in Knits
Felted Knits
Traditional Knitted Lace Shawls
Knit and Crochet with Beads
Wrap Style
The Little Box of Scarves
The Knitter's Book of Finishing Techniques
Exquisite Little Knits
Scarf Style
First Knits
The Knitter's Handy Book of Sweater Patterns
A Treasury of Magical Knitting
A Second Treasury of Magical Knitting
Socks Soar on Two Circular Needles
Men Who Knit & The Dogs Who Love Them
Stitch "n Bitch The Knitter's Handbook
Knitting For Baby
Natural Knits for Babies and Moms
Folk Shawls
Handknit Holidays
Last Minute Knitted Gifts (for inconsiderate knitters)
Knit Ponchos, Wraps & Scarves
Gorgeous Knitted Afghans
Mother of Purl
Hats, Gloves Scarves
Vintage Knits
The Knitted Rug
The Knitting Experience Book 3: Color
Fabulous Feltged Hand Knits
Knitted Nature
Men in Knits
Weekend Knitting
Pursenalities
Hands on Spinning
Knit Along with Debbie Macomber The Shop on Blossom Street
The Pleasure of Knitting
Knitted Shawls, Stoles, & Scarves
Mason*Dixon Knitting (a lot of knitting stores would not carry this as in the back they tell you where to get yarn for less. So, if they boycott a book, I'm buying it!)
Alterknits
Basic Knitting
Celebrity Scarves
CelebrityScarves 2
Knitted Sweater
Beautiful Knitting Patterns
Shawls and Scarves
Country Inspiration
Knitting with a Smile
Sarah Dallas Knitting
Stitchionary
Stitchionary 2

Updated 06-24-2007

Country Knits
Inspired Cable Knits

What a Glorious Day!

2007-04-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

I took mother to the eye doctor to have her eyes checked after cataract surgery and she's fine. And then she had another MRI while I watched the Daily Show on my iPod. I LOVE that thing.

Thankfully her fall wasn't due to another stroke, but is most likely due to nerve damage which is no big deal compared with another stroke. Mother is convinced that Nerve Conduction Tests are bogus and the doctor is probably behind on his alimony payments.

And my niece who has been MIA for about ten years called my mom. She had travelled to foreign countries, sings with a band, has two dogs, scuplts, writes, lives in Berkley and has MEDICAL INSURANCE. If I hadn't heard from someone in 10 years that would definitely be on my list of questions. Mother doesn't remember the name of the band, but now she is interested in Punk music. Granted if I hadn't called in ten DAYS she'd say "Becky who?" and then hang up, but we're talking grandchild, here and I'm so glad she's back in touch.

It was so great to see mother so excited. She's been a might cranky with her ailments this year and she caught me driving with one hand for about three seconds today. So, there was a scolding involved. Luckily, I got my allowance yesterday. We are up to 6,128 miles on that Saturn, btw.

So I went to Barnes and Noble and bought myself Einstein His Life and Universe which I saw on the Daily Show and The Lost. Then I went to Salzers and bought Tommy James and the Shondells and the cutest new knitting bag that refuses to be photographed that says "Women Rock". Ironically, I was waited on at Salzer's by the new girl who came to knit last night. What a small world!

The youngest Fruit of my Looms, Jacob, completed his Surgical Technician schooling. So, if he doesn't make it as a rock star he'll have that to fall back on. The poor kid actually asked me if I could help him write a resume. I've had the same job for twenty years! Not being politically correct is my favorite pasttime at work. Well, that and sexually harrasing the men. Any suggestions? April? Anyone?

John put in a stool for me to sit on while I wind. I bought a wool sweater at the Thrift store, felted it and used it for the cusion. Here's John modeling the chair with his lovely assistant Hank the Tank.

Then John finally hung up the reindeer pelt we bought at the Scandanavian Festival two years ago. Just in time for another one, I might add. It's this month at Cal Lutheran University.

Not bad for a Friday the 13th.

My First Sweater

2007-04-06T13:49:00.000-07:00

Beatriz asked last night about my sweater so I told her I would post it. I made it over a year ago and I was disappointed with the fiber as it sticks to everything I wear so now, it's my "house coat". Does that pose remind you of anyone?

Took mom in for her MRI and then a nerve conduction test today to see if her fall last week was due to another stoke or vertigo. So while I waited on her I finished the back of my cabled sweater and finished the cuff on my second sock.

As usual mom gave me $20 for driving her in her car. She cracks me up. I'm 47 and I still get an allowance. She has a 2000 Saturn with 6,000 miles on it. I'd do the math to figure out how that equates to miles per months, but after last nights tipping ordeal math makes me cranky.

Anyway, I don't know if it's a midwest thing (she's from Nebraska) or her age (76), but she will not let anyone do anything for her. But, I figure $20 is a skein of sock yarn so next week I'm taking mom to the eye doctor.

My Rose Garden

2007-04-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year because when I come home I can hang out in the rose garden while it is still light out.

This is a view from my bench on the porch. The garden is one of the first things John and I did together when we bought the house.

Here's a shot of this years first picks on my night stand next to the card I received yesterday from Elmo. He makes one for me every year and they they are just beautiful.

Is It Monday Yet?

2007-04-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I just said that, but I''m exhausted and I need to get back to work so I can get some rest.

Saturday, Sandy, Marty, Paris and I went to the opening of the Camarillo Library and it was a blast. There were pirates, cookies, a sunken ship, cookies, women dressed up as female authors and cookies! I used one of the fifty new computers to sign up for a Camarillo Library Card. I still have my Oxnard one, though. There were a number of Children's author's there performing book signings. So, I bought a few for some special little ones.

Then I came home and had a brain storm. I decided to alphabetize all 292 DVD's and place them into albums so I could utilize the book shelves for books. I went to Best Buy and bought Case Logic binders and I freed up six shelves and John about had a fit when he came home. But I'm running out of book space. I have six book cases and they are bursting at the seams. I am an admited bibliophile and he knew that when he married me. So, I don't want to hear any whinning!

Then I wound sock yarn until late at night and placed it in the CD tower that I don't need now that I have an iPod. The blue yarn on the very top was a gift from Sandy.

Today I went to Ikia with Sandy, Marty and Paris for the first time. I got a French press and this cool sheepskin rug for Hank to sleep on. Oh, and I managed to finished one sock out of Jitterbug which I was very excited to use until I found a knot it in. I hate that! There should be no knots in yarn. I think I 'll start a coalition.

Luckily, Beatriz was there that night and advised me on how to weave in the ends.

So, as you can see I've had a busy weekend and I need a nap.

I had a great birthday

2007-03-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

The guys at work got me a cake, lunch a card and a gift certificate for the movies.

John took me to Buca's for dinner and then he bought me an iPod. Got a pair of antique spurs in the mail from Monica. My boys called me and no one wanted to borrow money.

Went to knit night and then had dinner with Sandy and Terry at Mimi's and we had an Angelyne sighting. She parked her her pink Corvette in the handicap parking. That's just bad manners.

Then today Terry, Sandy and I went to knit a Palermo's where I had two coffee's with extra shots of espresso (can you tell?) and I received more presents. Sandy got me the book Runelore, Tarot Cards with the Runes on them and a really cool rock with quartz in it and I got to spend the day with my knitster sisters. Sandy also gave me this beautiful bottle from Art Illusion Gallery here in Camarillo

Forty-seven isn't so bad after all.

Joseph

2007-03-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of my hell-raising-middle-child Joseph. You can tell he's the middle child as he is covered in scars. He's giving me the thumbs up on a scarf I made him for Christmas.

Joseph was here last week visiting from Texas.

See Roni, I told you they love anything their mama makes.

My Cabled Sweater

2007-03-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here I am three weeks of knitting and I'm just now getting to the point were I decrease for the arm holes. Will it fit me by the time I'm finished, I wonder.

Oh, but I do love the color and the texture of the cables.

And if all else fails Hank the Wonder dog would love a new cape.

Conversations with Mother

2007-03-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

This morning Mother discussed with me (over the phone) free floating fetal cells that flow within the mother’s blood stream and how a women can have a simple blood test to determine the sex of your child since within the fetal cells is the fetuses DNA. Is this new? I asked. Well they known this for years, mother scolded, and reminded me of Rh Factors, and blood test before marriage and I forgot what else because I think I was petting the cat. Jeez, it wasn’t even noon yet.

Her point is, is that women don’t need to have these expensive tests that are painful, invasive and can cause damage to an unborn child. But the majority of doctors are men. Need I say more? Boy, she went on a rant for a good ten minutes.

She also informed me that in rare cases the have found fetal cells in the skin lesions of women who suffer from something called scleroderma, which I have never heard of either. So, I had to Google it thanks to mother. Sounds like something my kids would do, though.

Fetal cells have their advantages, too. The fetal cells store in the mother’s spleen and serve as a reserve of stem cells that can rush in and repair a mother’s organs, when need be.

So the bond between mother and child is even greater than I had ever imagined. And I owe it all to mother.

I just hope my cells kick in when she needs them.

For my boss who hates political bloggers

2007-03-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

Like many Arabs, Muhammad believed in al-Lah, which meant “the God” and this diety was identical to the God worshipped by the Jews and the Christians. The Arabs were often taunted by Jews and Christians for being barbarians as the Arabs had never had a revelation from God. (See Jews and Christians CAN agree on some things).

The Palestinian Christians practiced what they believed was the religion of Abraham before he went into the tent and became a Jew. Now this religion would technically be older than Judaism and Christianity, but we have no record that Abraham had a religious belief system before Judaism. If you want to be like Abraham, I say practice Judaism. If you want to be like Christ, practice Judaism. but I digress.

The Arabs had numerous pagan gods that they worshipped, but unike other cultures they hadn't worked out the details such as the relevance of these god. They didn't believe in an afterlife, but believed in Fate. To ensure the survival of the tribe, they would share the wealth equally. If a member of your tribe was killed there was no duty to kill the killer, just kill any memeber of the killers tribe as, again, all were equal. Not exactly an eye-for-an-eye, more like a Mob hit.

Around the year 610, an Arabic man named Zayd prayed,"O god, if I knew how you wish to be worshipped I would worship you: but I do not know.” His prayers were answered when Muhammad (a merchant from Venice, just kidding that was Shakespeare, he was acutally a merchant from Mecca) claimed that he was awakened one night by an angel who commended him to “recite” Mohammad refused several times until Muhammad found the following words flowing from his lips”

Recite in the name of thy Sustainer, who has created - created man out of a germ cell Recite…..

The Arabs had finally had a revelation from God and the rest is history.

So, I say, Islam is the new kid on the block of the big three. I win!! You have to buy me sushi.

Conversations with Mother

2007-03-14T20:29:00.001-07:00

Mother has me on a mission. I am to find out if a last name would (statistically) last longer if children were given their mothers' last name instead of their fathers'. She has four daughters and one son. Her father had daughters, etc. How I am to accomplish this I have no idea. But it makes no sense to her why we get our fathers name when we ony know for sure who are mother is.

She reminded me today (again) that I am to take her to the eye doctor ON APRIL 13TH. She has also requested a copy of Roosevelt’s “Day of Infamy” speech. She thinks George has lifted something from the Roosevelt speech. Who sits and thinks up this shit? My mother, that’s who. And religion needs to be abolished, she has informed me, if we are ever to have peace in this world. It used to be, “We won’t have peace until the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” Now she’s changed her mind. Just like cremation! First, she wanted a casket and a traditional plot. Then she wanted to be cremated and encapsulated like Carl Sagan. And now she’s pondering cremation and then being scattered at sea. And she’s afraid of water, but she read somewhere about a scientist and genomics on the Sargasso Sea.

Okay, I found the article, but I still have no idea what it means or why it has her all cranked up. Oh, and speaking of crank, don't get her going on the neighbors who are apparently "tweeking" again and moving furniture at all hours of the night. They're not doing so hot , but thankfully she is still evolving.

I use to get annoyed when she would ask me to do these things for her. It was like homework, but now I see she is still teaching me. At 78 she still wants to know stuff just for the sake of knowing. And she has such discipline. She won't eat breakfast until she does the Times crossword puzzle. Have you seen that thing on a Friday? Her only fears are midgets and antiques.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

For Jessica

2007-03-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

Here is what Christina was talking about A thanksgiving Story as told by William Shatner.

Enjoy or be appalled, it's all a matter of perspection

My Boss is in the News

2007-03-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

This is very exciting my boss was interviewed and you can read it here.

He's the third one down titled "Starving the Disease". I'm so excited for him.

Nothing New to Report

2007-03-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

I went to post as it's been so long since I last had anything to report and I had to take a tour on the new blogger system. Nothing stays the same which annoys me sometimes.

Have had a good weekend so far. Went to see an Art Exhibit in Ventura. The Red Brick Gallery which features David Rivas a co-worker of mine. Vicky is in town from Texas and I was struck with the conundrum "what do you do with an out-of-town visitor who lived here for 20 years?" So, we had dinner at Landmark 78, walked over to Main Street and looked at art. Then had coffee at Palermo's and I had to keep dragging John out of the street as he couldn't get over the Full Moon which is the Lenten moon this month and is considered the last full moon of winter. So, hurray for that. We window shopped and showed her the Erle Stanley Gardner Building which was the birthplace of Perry Mason. She had never seen any of these places so it was very cool to be tour guides.

I just finished reading "Lover of Unreason" a fascinating story and have just started "American Shaolin" I'll keep you posted on that one.

My back pain is starting up again so I'm taking a different route this time. I've ordered herbs and vitamins to try and help with the inflammation as the epidurals are not helping and only mask the pain which has the potential for me to further harm myself. I am also going to look into alternatives such as chiroporactors, accupuncture, reiki , etc.

Tomorrow I am going to attempt to teach my stepson's roommate how to knit and then clean up the yarn room in preparation for Heathers' yarn swap next weekend.

The weekend is not even over yet and I'm already planning for the next one.

Michael's Last Flight

2007-02-17T21:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight we went to the beach to watch John's brother's ashes be scattered at sea by plane. It was such a beautiful experience.

The sun was setting behind the islands, the sky was clear, there were over 50 people all standing in silence at the shores edge as the plane flew by and made a complete circle around us then came back around and we watched from the shore as his ashes were released into the air like a stream of smoke that fell to the sea.

We all watched as the plan returned, tipped its' wings and dropped what looked like hundreds of butterflies falling from the sky. After a few moments, rose petals began to wash up on the shore as the sun turned a brilliant shade of red. Family and friends gathered rose petals for keepsakes. One last memory.

It was a wonderful night for his last flight.

Observations on Death

2007-02-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

Each life is unique and each death is unique and all the self-help books that line the shelves make for good door stops and coasters. So saith me.

Christians who state "he's happy now" whilst smiling, in a chipper voice, in front of a roomful of mourners should be cited for bad manners or shot on site based upon their proximity to the greiving widow. So saith me, Goddess of the Yarn Room and all that is Good. Can you tell I miss my Knitster Sisters?

It's always the same thing, "they're happy now", "they are in a better place," (apparently Heaven is just a skosh past Disneyland) or "they are with God". It isn't comforting and what's worse is it isn't even profound!

And I can Rant on this issue (I rant therefore I am) because A: it's my blog and 2: I have had my own experience with these delusional Christians. After I had lost a child whilst being hugged by a bible thumper who was allegedly comforting me whispered in my ear, "God needed an angel." But wait, isn't he the guy that can make his own? Not only was it not comforting, but it pissed me off and God and I haven't spoken ever since. If it's such a great place, shouldn't they be dying to get it? I do love a good pun.

Christ said, "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life shall keep unto life eternal." You never hear that one in a roomful of mourners.

And I have yet to hear Plotinus quoted and he wrote great stuff.

"For a superior soul, the stars are not only prognostics, but the soul is part of and evolves internally along with the All, in which it participates."

Now, it may not be profound, but at least it serves as a pleasant distraction.

And speaking of pleasant distractions, Elmo called, twice. We spoke for 15 minutes where he spun my head with ipso-facto-habeous-corpus jargon and that he thinks he might be getting out in ten months and then he called again and he and John spoke for another 15 minutes. From what I can gather he finally got a lawyer to listen to his argument who then sent in another lawyer with students to listen to his argument and they are convinced he can't lose.

Whether he gets out or not is yet to be seen, but it was great to see John smile again. Elmo always seems to call whenever we are at our lowest and from behind those prison walls he somehow manages to raise us back up again.

Buy Now

2007-01-31T19:09:00.000-08:00

I think my pot head kids were onto something.

It just stands to reason if you smoke it it will instantly enter your blood stream and probably save your kidneys some damage, too.

I wonder what the policy for smoking THAT in the workplace will be.

Dont' forget to enjoy the Snow Moon this month.

Sunday Supper

2007-01-28T16:29:00.000-08:00

Since it's been raining I've been craving Hoppin John. Don't ask me why, as there is no rhyme or reason to my cravings. (Maybe it is one of those comfort foods as it reminds me of the ham hocks and beans my mom use to make). I craved Pralines and Cream during the cold snap (on a nightly basis) and I wasn't the only person bundled up in 31 Flavors at 9:30 at night.

Hoppin John is an African-American Classic. And there are as many ways to prepare it as there are myths as to how it got it's name.

One myth is the custom of inviting a neighbor to eat by saying "hop in, John."
Another is an old ritual where the children hopped around the table. But my favorite is "a man came a hoppin when his wife prepared the dish."

And here's why. Today John came a hoppin in from the garage and couldn't wait for the cornbead to finish so he dished it from the pot and ate it standing up in the kitchen. NOTE: we have a table

Sometimes I make it with black-eyed peas, rice and spicey sausage.

Today I made it with black-eyed peas, rice, ham steak, (I couldn't find a ham hock) and shrimp. Seasoned with as much Cayenne pepper as I could tolerate, garlic salt, fresh garlic, onions and the rice is made with chicken broth in lieu of water.

With a side dish of corn bread (made with white corn meal) with creamed corn and cheese. I find the corn bread is always best when baked in a cast iron skillet and served with a dollop of butter. Because food should be cooked with lots of love and lots of butter. I do believe it's time for seconds.

No Rest for the Wicked

2007-01-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

For the third week in a row I have to go into work on my day off. I've had two days off since I returned to work from our holiday shutdown. I shouldn't be complaining because if you added up the hours I've spent twidling my thumbs, it's a wash for sure. I'm just trying to find solutions, help our customer and everywhere I turn I'm greeted with "it can't be done" "we've never done that" "their not capable of that level of expertise". And the more digging I do the more areas I see that need to be improved upon. So wherein the complaint might not be valid the opportunity should still be taken to improve.

And all the fucking complaining. It's unbelievable. How dare you ask me to do my job? All these people could be spending their time productively, instead of being negative and/or pointing fingers. And the real rub is to hear people complaining about our customer! The one who is always right.

Even those that have valid reasons for thinking the customer's request is unreasonable I thought would have at least entertained the idea of "hey, let's be positive and take this opportunity to improve." Let's spend a little more money on training and changing attitude and philosophies, but apparently, I'm delusional.

I don't understand why people don't get it. Or maybe it's me, but it seems to be happening everywhere. It's ignorance. It's arrogance. Why would we choose to sit on our ass and complain when we have the opportunity to save our ass?

I'm not saying that what we produce is bad. It's not, it's merely a matter of interpretation. So, if the customer wants it better we have an obligation to try and make it better.

But what is to become of us if we don't try?

Thanks Julie

2007-01-21T18:38:00.000-08:00

It has been so cold in the house (even with a heater) that Hank has been shivering. Well, he's a lucky dog because today Julie gave him a jacket.

Before he got the jacket (a Pendleton, at that) he was using the heating pad for an electric blanket. I use the heating pad for my back and you can see by the picture who won that battle.

And to think some people treat their pets like animals!

The Wolf

2007-01-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

A pox upon this bloody bastard. The governor should be removed from the endangered species list so HE can be hunted. And who the fuck calls them selves Butch anymore anyway? I'm pissed. The wolf is hunting to survive whereas most yoyo's who hunt do it for sport and we can thank Christianity for that. See, before the introduction of Christianity, most civilized Pagan regions hunted as a means to survive. Christianity brought us hunting for sport. They said the bible said we had dominion over all the animals, so Fuck em!

Both American Indians and settlers saw the wolf as an equal and learned to hunt by observing the wolfves skill and lived in harmony with wolf.

In Iran and Japan the wolf was a god. In Scandinavian and Slavic countries the wolves were messengers of gods. Odin had two wolves which he hand fed because he only drank liquor. My kind of god!

These fucking whinners are moaning because the wolves are eating all the elk. Well they don't eat tofu you fucking useless inbreed!

My only consolation will be if old Butch Otter invites sure-shot-Cheny along and gets blasted in his fucking face.

But really the wolf represents freedom to me and we should never forget the wolf (or any other animal for that matter) has a right to exist and we, as alleged caretakers of this planet, haven't the right to take that away for the sake of sport.

Rantings on the Sacred Disease

2007-01-10T21:18:00.000-08:00

Aristotle was apparently the first to connect epilepsy and genius.

"Sometimes the same things that cause epilepsy result in giftedness. If you damage an area [of the brain] early enough in life, the corresponding area on the other side has a chance to overdevelop." Dr. Paul Spiers

"A temporal lobe focus in the superior individual may spark an extraordinary search for that entity we alternately call truth or beauty." Dr. Bear

And the epileptic geniuses are:

Edgar Allan Poe – Bud Abbott - Sir Walter Scott - Jonathan Swift - Lord Byron – Moliere - Alfred Lloyd Tennyson - Charles Dickens – Lewis Carroll – Fyodor Dostoevsky - Leo Tolstoy – Gustave Flaubert – Alexander the Great – Julius Caesar (Shakespeare knew that the Roman statesman suffered from the 'falling sickness and incorporated it into his play...He fell down in the market place, and foamed at the mouth, and was speechless.'– Napoleon Bonaparte – Harriet Tubman – Saint Paul- Joan of Arc (who also heard voices)– Soren Kierkagard – Truman Capote – Richard Burton –Ludwig Van Beethoven – Peter Tchaikovsky –Niccolo Paganini – George Frederick Handel- Chanda Gunn (US 2006 Women’s Hockey) - Danny Glover- Margaux Hemingway -Lenin died in Status Epilepticus - Neil Young- Jimmy Reed -Adam Horovitz- Karen Armstrong - Pius IX- Charles V- and Me

"But there is no bodily infirmity, not even leprosy or epilepsy, which cannot be caused by witches…. For we have often found that certain people have been visited with epilepsy or the falling sickness by means of eggs which have been buried with dead bodies, especially the dead bodies of witches, together with other ceremonies of which we cannot speak, particularly when these eggs have been given to a person either in food or drink." Excerpt from a 1494 handbook on witch-hunting and served as a guidebook for the Inquisition for 200 years, from the late 1400s until the time of the 1692 Salem witch trials in the United States.

The word epilepsy is derived from the Greek word epilambanein, meaning to seize or to attack. Hippocrates wrote the first book about epilepsy, "On the Sacred Disease," around 400 B.C.

Treatments:

Castor
As early as ancient Greek and Roman times, a resinous secretion from the scent glands of the beaver (castor sacks) was used as a remedy for the "holy disease": Castoreum. Up until well into the 19th century, this substance was widely used as a sedative and a remedy for convulsions and was to be found in every apothecary

The human skull (cranum humanum)
This was considered to be an effective remedy for treating the falling sickness throughout many eras: "Scrape a little matter from a human scull and administer this over a period of several months. If the patient is a man, the scull must be that of a woman, and vice versa" (folk remedy from Württemberg).

Mugwort (artemisia vulgaris)
In earlier centuries, this was the magical cure-all. Even in orthodox medicine mugwort was believed to be an effective remedy for epilepsy. Absinth, which has in it the amaroids from mugwort flowers, was also used to treat epilepsy.

Of the estimated 40 million people in the world with epilepsy, 32 million have no access to treatment at all - either because services are non existent or, just as importantly, because epilepsy is not viewed as a medical problem or a treatable brain disorder. Now is that anyway to treat a genius?

Saint Valentine, patron saint of the epileptics, of those who suffer from the falling down disease, yes, the disease with a thousand names, the superstitious, uneducated who think they are possessed by the devil, protect the 32 million.

Winter Solstice

2006-12-21T22:42:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a happy Winter Solstice. I know I did. I spent the evening with friends and I have learned that no matter what gets thrown your way, you can pretty much fix anything with a good laugh among friends.

Then I came home to an empty house (my favorite) and I built my shrine, lit some candles, and reflected for awhile.

I had my grandson last night and my youngest son Jacob came to visit. Eli and Uncle Jacob decorated the tree and there is no greater joy than to witness a tradition, that in turn creates a precious memory, being handed down. Uncle Jacob taught Eli how to trim a tree and Eli taught Uncle Jacob patience and that you CAN have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the peanut butter.

Then John came home and the hell hounds descended upon me demanding red vines. Our dogs favorite bedtime snack.

I hope you all have a happy holiday and may the new year bring us all good health, many blessings and precious memories

Scientist Stole My Idea

2006-12-16T07:21:00.000-08:00

I just read an article where scientist have created a robot controlled by the human thoughts which is EXACTLY what I've been doing for years with my glare.

I had a close friend whose dad always thought the government was spying on him so he covered his body with magnets! And now it's all the rage.

Okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to go out into the world and go Christmas shopping which is really Winter Solstice shopping in disguise. The reason I'm blogging is I'm hoping it will somehow go away via my glare.

Okay, apparently it's not working yet.

Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. A dangerous time in our history as food and firewood were running low. No one knew what the winter storms would bring. So to appease the gods they lit a yule log for Thor and gave gifts. Winter Solstice usually falls on a Thursday. Coincidence? I think not. December 21's is also Frank Zappa's birthday. One more reason to celebrate. "How's your auro Dora? It's real angora"

The only trees to remain green were the evergreen (Tannenbaum)trees so they lit candles on the tree, gave gifts to the gods in hopes that the Sun would return. Another tradition is mistletoe. Frigga, Baldur's mother ordered each plant to promise not to harm her child. Loki-ever the prankster and god of the Hoki Poki-took advantage of the situation and tricked one of the gods into killing Baldur with mistletoe. Baldur (the god of light) was later resurrected. His Mother, Frigga, ordered the plant from that day forward to bring love into the world rather than death. Now we celebrate the resurrection of Balder by kissing under the mistletoe. Read your Poetic Edda people, I don't make this crap up!

So with the longer nights comes darkness and with darkness comes death ~go not gently into that good night~ as Dylan Thomas said, it is only natural to become depressed this time of year. But be of good cheer, Marc, for with the Winter Solstice comes longer days and spring and new life.

Okay, my plan didn't work. I'm going out there people! It's freaking Ragnarok out there.

Rantings

2006-12-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

I'm driving to work this morning, late as usual, and I notice this construction truck. The reason I noticed the truck is it veered into my lane and almost fucking hit me. I couldn't glare at the driver because the windows were tinted. Yes, my glare can cause serious side effects. You do NOT want to receive my "glare". So I'm looking for something to remember this driver by in case I see the driver in a darkend alley. Get this, the name on the door is FCT Construction - Port Hueneme. Now I have even more reason to hate the drive because growing up in Oxnard (Bull Balls California) we HATED people from Port Hueneme. I can't remember why, but it was a Hatfield and McCoy thing.

In my head, of course, I'm pronouncing it Fucked Construction and wondering "who would do business with a company with fucked in its' title?" And why didn't I think of it first? And what is their catchy slogan? "Hire us and get FCT?" Or "if you don't hire us, you're fucked'" Compliments of Sura.

Our catchy phrase is "Gojkovich and Family Nepotism begins at home". Because nepotism does begin at home. Why after baseball, it's our national past-time. When Kennedy was president he appointed his brother to be Attorney General. When Clinton was president he put his wife in charge of health care. The first person I ever paid to do things around my house was my child. In fact, that's why I had them in the first place. I certainly wasn't going to do all those mundane things around the house like pick up after the dog and mow the lawn.

I actually had other children so the first one could be head babysitter. Well, he wanted a fucking raise! Damn unions.

Well, I arrived late, had coffee, worked on my blog and went to the Roach Coach. So I guess I should do something productive now.

I think I'll look up live journals and then maybe do some shopping on Amazon. They carry clothes from Chico's now!

Happy Thor's Day

New Magnet For The Holidays

2006-12-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

I bought myself a new magnet for my refrigerator collection for the holidays.
I think he's very festive and the statement is quite profound. As your all know fuck is my favorite word. fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucKKKKKK
You gotta emphasize on the f's and then the hard K at the end. When pronounced correctly, it's a beautiful thing.

And speaking of fucked. It is now time to write to the Parole Board on Elmo's behalf which I did yesterday and will mail next week.. It's due by December 18th so I'm going to post it and any input would be greatly appreciated. He goes before a panel of three appointed ex law enforcement personnel ( unbiased, I'm sure) As Elmo stated in his letter to me, "never mind that the Deputy District Attorney came to my first parole hearing admitting he still had doubts, never mind that in 1984 I was granted a Parole date at my first hearing, nevermind that my parole date was subsequently rescinded," altogether now FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK
"Please know that I am doing well." Donald Gardner, the Deputy District Attorney that put Elmo in jail, told me personally that he would not retire until he saw Elmo free. He has since retired. Okay, so the following is my letter. I get emotional so I need unbiased opinions.

December 8, 2006

Chairperson, Board of Parole Hearings
Post Office Box 4036
Sacramento, CA 95812-4036

Regarding: Elmo Chattman C-05575
Post Recision #9
CSP-Solano

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to the Board on behalf of my friend Elmo Chattman in hopes that you will give him a parole date as he has been in prison for over 28 years. Elmo and I have been friends for well over 30 years. We have corresponded while he has been in prison, spoke over the phone numerous times and I have visited him once.

I would not have remained friends with Elmo all these years if I did not believed that he would be a law-abiding citizen upon his release. And I cannot stress enough that the time Elmo has spent in prison is far too long for aiding and abetting his brother who killed a man in his presence 28 years ago.

I know that Elmo has a job waiting for him upon his release in the Marin County area and he also has been offered housing by Polly Walton.

However, if he needs to be released to Ventura County first, my husband and I who are homeowners have offered Elmo a place to stay. We are also both gainfully employed. I have worked in the Aerospace Industry for over 18 years and my husband has been abricklayer for 29 years. My husband has made many contacts in the constructions industry over the years, and with Elmo’s skills as a cabinetmaker, finding Elmo employment should not be difficult. We also have an extra truck that is available for Elmo to use.

Elmo has made improvements in his life while being incarcerated by earning a B.A in Journalism and his goal is to continue his education in Journalism at UC Berkeley to earn his Masters upon his release.

Putting all emotion aside, I feel compelled as a taxpayer in the State of California to voice my concerns of the economic burden placed upon myself by housing an inmate who has the ability and resources to contribute to society in a law abiding manner.

I understand that releasing an inmate is an important decision to make. I thank you for your time and consideration in this matter and I trust that you will weigh all the facts before you and look upon Elmo as a human being worthy of release.

Respectfully,

Rebecca
Quality Control Manager (should I put my job title?)

Our Library in Complete

2006-12-05T18:41:00.000-08:00

The library is now complete with the addition of a picture by David Rivas.

John and I just love it. I want to write it a poem.

Ode to my Picture
Yellow Sun descends upon
Polluted reeds of Metallic Green
As Blue Sky concedes to Black

Slowly we submerge
Eternally, we are as one
Golden like the setting sun

You know, something like that!

The Moon Before Yule

2006-12-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the Full Cold Moon also known as the Moon before Yule. Each full moon has a name. Did you know that? Last month it was a Beaver Moon which means it's time to set the beaver traps. Next year we're going to call it the Britney Moon. Good Lord you could see what she had for breakfast!

In any event, mark your calendars because before you know it the Winter Solstice will be upon us. Get yourself or a friend a nice white candle to light that night just as the sun begins to set. Or if you're near a forest dance naked.

"The longest time of Darkness in the year is called "Night of the Mother", as the Goddess labors to birth Light back into the world. At Winter solstice, the sun dies. Time stops. Then as Freya spins the wheel of fate once again, "Jul" in Norse, the sun is reborn. Her hand holds the spindle, a symbol of women's wisdom and skill. From her basket, she plucks a handful of wool, freshly combed but still unformed. Placing it on her wheel, she makes the ancient sure-handed gestures of the spinners, pulling the wool, winding it about the distaff, working it to a smooth and useful shape. So doing, she reminds us of her presence in the cycle of death and rebirth."

To all my God Fearing friends:

You can always pray for me
As long as I can dance naked in the forest for you.

And I tell you what, dancing naked is a hell of a lot funner than sitting on your knees.

Don't get me wrong, I've had fun on my knees, but strangely it never involved praying. Damned if my train of thought didn't get derailed again.

For my Children Descendents of the Ash and Elm

Listen my children, come gather ye round
for I have a fine story to tell
One of viking and lords and mystical fjords
and a women (how appropriate) named Hel

Of the Yggdrasil tree ever pure ever green
With leaves that never wither or die
Look closely tonight as the North star shines bright
Can you see the Norns weave our Fate in the sky?

In honor of Thor put a Yule log on the fire
For fallen Berserkers let them hear your proud screams
And the Bilfrost bridge just over the ridge
Will lead us to the land of dreams.

My sons, keep holy always the Mother Night
Winster Solstice, the return of the Sun
Why even the Christians (who stole our traditions)
Partake in this glorious fun.

For Jessica

The Decadent Decline of Miss B

2006-11-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

I am blogging from the comfort of my own bed. Granted, I am sharing it with a dog, but, be that as it may, I am blogging from bed and I feel absolutely decadent.

I've been to Amazon to post a review, read that Barbara Bush(jr) was robbed of her purse while under the protection of our Secret Service, which had be rolling with laughter and I pissed off the dog. Well, he sort of "fell" off of the bed. You know, they don't land on their feet near as often as cats do?

The Vatican has completed a study on condoms. That gave me the creeps wondering if the crash test dummy actually volunteered or are they future senators in the making. Republicans, no doubt.

Okay, that was uncalled for.

Ironically, I came to bed because of my back. Well, actually the ramifications of some medication for my back which causes constipation and diarrhea, (maybe they think we're schizophrenic) Note to selves: Find out if we're schizophrenic. Oh, and bleeding ulcers, no direct sunlight, take with crackers or bread. I decided it should go best with rainbow sherbet. So, I had that in bed.

Wait, my train of thought has been derailed again. Probably another side effect. Is it effect of affect? How the hell should I know? So, I'm in bed due to my back and I came across this study on back surgery. Which is evidence enough for me this is where I should be.

That's why I just love my new laptop (it's a Toshiba) and John brought in a breakfast-in-bed tray I bought for him a while back when he had his gallbladder removed and it's like a desk in bed. (The tray not his gallbladder) And I really see no good reason why I should ever get out of bed again.

Okay, whose up for Yahtzee?

Perhaps

2006-11-18T11:59:00.000-08:00

I was a bit hasty to be so quick to judge Mother. Today is a good example of that. I went to Ventura to meet a friend at the Psychic Fair. First thing I did wrong was go to the Marriot. Why the Marriot you ask, when the Psychic Fair is at the Crown? Because I am delusional and am under the impression that I can still remember something ten minutes from now without writing it down. I can't and I have yet to accept that fact.

Now I'm at the Marriot and I asked the young man at the front desk where is the Psychic Fair? And he replied he didn't know, but there is a group of Neuroscientists in the banquet room discussing Alzheimers. If only psychics could help those that suffer from Alzheimers, I ponder and then I scurry off to the Crown Plaza after calling Sandy for directions because she has it WRITTEN DOWN.

I get to the Crown, pull off a ticket stub to park and the bar lowers behind me. I drive around and cannot find a place to park and the little yellow bar at the other end won't lift up to let me out. Fucking piece of shit. Probably runs off of a Delco Battery. I drive back to where I entered, backwards, and no one is there to help. I drive back to the gate and it still won't rise. If only I had Cheryl with me.

Now there are two elderly ladies (who should obviously be at the Marriot) sitting and staring at the gate. "Can you get out?" I ask. "No," they exclaim in unison. I then proceed to instruct them to back up because I am driving my truck through and I don't want debris to get on their car. They are quite excited to be in on the adventure and I tell them I will not be held hostage. And they shout, "Good for you" as they back up and wave me off. I then proceed to drive up and I give the gate one more chance to rise, it doesn't. Fucking impotent piece of shit. I back up, gun it and down the road I go.

While flying down the freeway it occurs to me.

I am my mother.

Dick and Bush produce a Boehner

2006-11-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

Comedians are working overtime. We now have a Boehner in congress. I, personally can't stop laughing because a Bush doesn't need a Dick without a Boehner. It's just a moot subject.

But seriously, we have problems women. Bush, in his infinite wisdom has selected Erik Keroak to oversee the federal Office of Population Control.

While women in countries we once thought were backward, Pakistan, India are getting their voices heard and are moving forward we're just sitting around while ours or our daughtes voices are silenced by men of religion. Again!

Just because I'm past the age of bearing children, doesn't mean I'm going to ignore the issue at hand.

And if we are going to move backward, let's push their asses all the way to the Enlightened era.

Can I get a witness?

The Wrath of Jeri

2006-11-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

I go in to work today, my day off, and the phone rings. Who would be calling me at work on my day off?

“Quality, this is Becky.” “Becky, this is your mother.” Oh god!

“Hi mom” I respond cheerfully. The sales manager laughs while pointing and walks out of my office. Even strangers fear the wrath of Jeri and he too has a mother that is aging.

“I am sick of this fucking Delco battery and I want a new one.”

My siblings and I have always joked about “The wrath of Jeri” which is when Mother gets on a kick like a dog with a bone and won’t give up on it no matter what. And this time it’s a battery. A fucking Delco battery! Her car is seven years old “with less that six thousand miles, don’t forget” I can hear her in my head and she cannot understand why her first battery lasted six years and the second only one.

Last Friday I called to check on her. I try to call my mother every day and yes, I’m a glutton for punishment. She is my mother after all. Last week she told me her anti locking device quit working. “Why do you think that mom?” “Well, I went out to unlock the car and it wouldn’t unlock with that thing on my key ring, the transmitter, so I had to use the key and the car won’t start. I think there is something wrong with my receiver." Receivers? Transmitters? Uh oh! Mother has been reading the owners manual. She goes on to tell me how she tried to put it in gear and it wouldn’t go into neutral. “That can’t be right mom. Let me come over, I’m here in Oxnard buying dog food.” So I drive to Port Hueneme, she greets me with “I hate that fucking car!” "Hello Mother." I get her keys, listen patiently as she reads to me from the Saturn Manual about synchronizing the anti-locking device, go out to the car and unlock it and the first thing I notice is the dome light is out. “You’re battery is dead mom.” “No,” she is quick to correct me. “I drove it home last night and it was just fine. There is something wrong with the Anti-locking device.” So I read the paragraph from the book where you hold two buttons down, stand on one leg while howling at the full moon until the horn honks and the horn never honks.

So, after I convince her not to call AAA to have that “piece of crap car” towed away we go back inside and I give Saturn a call, explain the situation, the service guy places me on hold thinking I’m an idiot, comes back and tells me “sounds like the battery is dead”. I tell mom “the Service Guy says the battery is probably dead”. “Well,” she says and she is miraculously satisfied. What the fuck? I tell her I will call my husband John and he can come charge it up for her the next day or get her a new one. So we go to the store so she can stock up on food in case I don’t return for days. I go home and the phone rings. “Hello?” “Becky this is your mother. I forgot to buy lottery tickets and if I don’t play my numbers I would just die it they get called tomorrow.” Okay mom, do we need to go now?” “No, tomorrow will be fine. What time is John coming over?” “Early” I say. “How early is early?” she asks. “Somewhere between 5:30 AM and 6:00 AM. Is that okay?” “Alright, you're sure he’s coming?” “He'll be there mother.” Suddenly, I need a nap.

Next morning, bright and early the phone rings, “Hello?” “I’ve been thinking.” Mother starts out. Oh god no! “I need a new car” What? “Well, now, just think about it. Your brother always says I think the worst, but listen. The car won’t go into gear with a dead battery. What if there were a fire in the building and I had to push my car out of the garage. It won’t go into gear. Why I couldn’t even get AAA to tow it because how would they fit into the garage? Then we decide (together) that perhaps she didn’t put her foot on the brake while attempting to put the car into gear.

Well, maybe that’s it.

So now a week after my husband has had the battery charged up and she now understand that before she had a maintenance free battery and this time she didn’t so the battery needed water she wants a new battery that doesn’t need water. And she wants to go to Saturn to buy it and she wants me to take her. “You don’t need to go to Saturn to buy a battery, mother. They sell them everywhere.” Well, I know that,” she says, “but, the button on the radio fell off and I want a new one. So I need you to drive me to Saturn to get a new one.” Somehow I manage to convince her that John should go along as he is mechanical. And she is appeased for awhile.

I call her later to let her know that John will be by tomorrow and she sounds upset over the phone. “Are you alright mom?” “I guess.” She says. “What’s the matter?” “Do you know what happened to me today?” “No mother, what happened today?” “Well, I went to the mailbox and got my mail and I opened a letter before I realized it wasn’t addressed to me, but it had my address on it (like that somehow makes it legal) and it’s a letter from the library with a check for $19.00 to a young man (how she knows this I have no idea) to reimburse him for a book they said he lost, but apparently they found it now. I called the library. Have you ever called the library?” “No mom, I don’t think I have”. “Well, let me tell you they have one of those machines where you don’t get to talk to a real live person and the first selection is English! Well, that’s ridiculous. All the books in the library are in English. So, I select English and I had to push about ten buttons before I got some woman’s answering machine and her last name sounded foreign, you know, and of course she’s not in due to a family emergency. On a Friday! Well for Pete’s sake. It said so right on her machine. I left a message and I told her they need to get their act together down there. I have lived here for 12 years and this man does not live here and now I have to spend .39 cents on a fucking stamp. I have a good mind to tear this letter up, but that poor man is out $19.00. Her last name sounded foreign, you know”. “Mom, why don’t you give the letter and the check to John tomorrow and I can mail it for you?” “Well, I can mail a letter, for Pete’s sake, but why should I be inconvenienced when they screwed up?”

“I don’t know mom.” I sigh.

Nor will my children when it is my turn. And it will be my turn, it's just a matter of time. Mother isn't going down without a fight and nor will I so they better start fucking napping.

The Wrath of Becky - a family tradition.

Dear Jessica (as narrated by William Shatner)

2006-11-16T22:48:00.000-08:00

All is not well in our little hamlet. I regret to inform you that our dear beloved little Christina has been kidnapped by a band of roving German Bears wielding weapons of corn and she has been carried off into the dark of night (or perhaps to Seattle).

She put up a vailant fight, but the minute they challenged her to a math contest, all hope was lost. Oh, the irony. I pleaded to go in her place. Obsequiously I offered myself up as their sex slave, I'm ashamed to say.

A sacrificial lamb, so to speak. But regretably I have always sucked at felatio which is why my career as a televangelist never quite took off the ground like my buddy in Colorado, but alas, I digress.

If only I had thought to offer up the stuffed turkey roll, and the chocolate triffle, the cranberry salad and asparagus in a vinegette sauce. Oh god, and the garlic potatoes swimming in gravy with ham and Korean burgers. And the Corn, and cornbread, and buttered buns. The Better-than-sex cake. I needed a cigarette when I was done with that bad boy.

Scott me up, Beamy

We miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurry up and build that damn bridge in Cuba and come save us.

Dear PETA, no bears were harmed during the telling of this story and stop throwing paint on my husband. That's really his hair on his back.

Abstract Rantings

2006-11-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

Andy Warhol's "Mao" sold for a whopping $17.4 million. And speaking of famous artists ya'll need to check out David Rivas' clip at you tube. I'm sure you are all familiar with him by now from my sidebar, but I can't wait to say I knew him way back when, when he sells his art for a couple million. And I feel so fortunate to have been able to watch his success grow and it has really been a great experience to see an artist be appreciated while they are alive. Heather, how is your movie coming along, by the way?

And for some stimulating dialogue, check out On Faith. It's a great website put together by The Washington Post and Newsweek to get people to engage in an open discussion on faith, religion, etc. Each week they will have a guest "poster" and than individuals can comment. I'm in there somewhere ranting about everthing from Eve getting a bad rap to religion being a business and what ever happend to truth in advertising?

We had our pre-Thanksgiving dinner at work today and tonight I'll be doing it again with the Knitster Sisters.

My weaving project is coming along and I will post a picture soon.

An Update from Elmo

2006-11-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

Elmo called tonight and he wanted me to give the ladies in my "knitting circle" a big hello and a man hug for John.

He's in good spirits considering he's on another lockdown. This one is for the Norovirus outbreak in the prison. So, with the overcrowding and less than adequate plumbing, it's not a pretty picture. But he was upbeat because he got a letter from Heather and he was happy to hear that all the ladies carry a picture of him in their wallet. That just blew him away and really meant a lot to him, Julie.

The Prison Guard's contract has not yet been renewed, but here's some info for all you tax payers on where your money goes. Oh, and don't get me started on what we pay to guard the comatose. Unfucking believable. Sorry Marc.

Thanks again to the ladies for helping to keep Elmo sane. Oh, and man hugs to John whatever that might be.

Oh Oh Oh and I got a plate from my boss from Italy. It's a pasta plate and is presently holding candy on my desk at work, but I will post a picture soon.

Life's Little Ironies

2006-11-11T10:53:00.000-08:00

Or "How I spent my Veterans Day".

I was on the internet getting cranky with Bush (the Draft Dodger)and Veteran's Day. The site of him saluting a soldier at Arlington Cemetary gave me the creeps. I love cemetaries and I don't like creeps in them. It's disrespectful to the dead.

So I left and went to the Coffee Bean for my morning coffe and there was this guy twisting his back, so naturally I stated, "I wished I could move like that." As my brother always says, "you'd talk to a serial killer if he stood next to you in line."

He asked if I had back problems. I told him my story and he has a herniated disc too, only worse, and is waiting for a new procedure performed by the Kaiser on Sunset Blvd. (I think). His name was Ronny and he was from Israel and had the coolest accent. We talked about everything from George W. Bush to Sai Baba.

Has anyone heard of Sai Baba? Note to self: Read up on Sai Baba.

Ronny had nice things to say about our country which was ironic considering I was just cranky about Bush (the draft dodger) and Veteran's Day.

If it weren't for my first weaving lesson I would have talked to him all day he was that fascinating. It was also cute to see him struggle with English.

So, I went to my weaving lesson, made a wrong turn and ended up at a turkey shoot, "what the fuck", turned around and made it to class in time by way of walking through this art studio with sculptures, ceramics, baskets and god knows what else I could ruin with this fricken loom flung over my shoulder like a bull in a china shop. The first question the instructor asks was "what made you want to learn to weave?" I told her about these garments I saw at the Santa Monica Fiber Arts Show and how beautiful they were and how I wanted to try it and I remember they were right across from the Cat's and Cobwebs booth and (did I mention I can talk forever?) and it was her stuff.

So, I got my first weaving lesson from the woman whose garments inspired me to weave.

All in all it was a good day and it took a foreigner to remind me I live in a good country, despite the draft dodger in the house. He'll be gone soon.

And that fact alone made me beam.

My Morning Drill

2006-11-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

So I've been licking the cats butt, why won't you kiss me?

That's not the spot dammit! Don't make me cranky.

That't it! Oh god, that's the spot. Yes! Yes! Yes!

This is the part where Louis imagines he has a thumb and lights up a cigarette.