Vacation Day Who Knows

I'm really starting to enjoy this. Today I slept in until EIGHT THIRTY! Which is quite late for me. I'm having a great time, in spite of assholes like I ran into yesterday.

I was in line at Rite Aid getting John's prescription and the man at the head of the line was causing a raucous and belittling the young man working and this horrid woman kept laughing. Finally the young man had had enough and he told the man if he disrespected him one more time he wouldn't wait on him and he was very polite while doing this. And then went on to remind that man that as an ADULT he should know better. Well the man turned around with a smirk and I recognized him as the guy in charge of sending kids on missionary services, or whatever you call them, at a local church in town. He hangs out at Palermos's. I had just spoke with him Tuesday, for crying out loud, because we were talking about how I read children's' books every summer. He complained to the manager wanting the young man fired! This is an adult in charge of youths?

Okay, so then the horrid lady gets her turn and all the while she kept laughing while the young man was trying to be professional with the irate Jesus Freak, saying out loud that if she were on welfare or an illegal alien she would be treated better. She gets rung up and then she yells that she's not going to pay for a prescription twice. He explains that her doctor prescribed 15 pills (half a day) and then he called in another fifteen. Which is a new prescription. She says she's suppose to take one pill a day now, demands to talk to the pharmacist and then wants the pharmacist to call her doctor RIGHT NOW. I walked up beside her and said perhaps she should call her doctor as that's how the civilized world works. The computer doesn't know the doctor increased her dosage and these people are just trying to do their jobs and yelling at them isn't helping and perhaps she should get some fake documents and say she's from Canada. She pretended I wasn't there or was rendered speechless. In any event, she finally shut the fuck up! Which was all I wanted and I'm sure the 18 people waiting in line as well.

I finally got my turn and picked up John's pill, left, called back, talked with the pharmacist and told him he deserves hazardous pay. Something diabolical need to be done to those people who are so rude to people who are just trying to do their jobs. I mean, do they really believe that they fuck with them on purpose so they can stand there and get yelled at and not yell back?

Update

Eli came to spend the night and Grandpa showed Eli a lovely trick that involves pulling ones finger. Eli fled the room, came back and told Grandpa, "don't do that! That was disgusting." You go Eli, I've been telling him that for years. Eli told us all about his fishing trip. He is such a man now. Fish stories already?

Eli modeled my new Cavendish while standing next to Jacob's cat Eli who has taken over the yarn room. They are both such hams. My son Sean is finally going to be home for at least three years so the move into their new house today and Eli gets a dog from the pound. He's so excited and he wants one like Hank.

And Bob's your Uncle.

Vacation Day Two

Has taught me that you know you are technologically challenged when homeless people offer you tips on electronics. My friend Arson, (and yes, I will talk to anybody if they are interesting) taught me that I can lock my iPod and do a whole bunch of other shit. Then he commandered some guys laptop and we looked at websites. Gross stuff, something my boys would do to try and shock me. It is just amazing what people will let you get away with if you have tattoos on your face. I need one for work, most definitely, but more like a decal. John can barely handle that I talk to homeless people let alone get a tattoo. What a fuddy duddy. I never get to do anything.

I sat and knitted at the local coffee shop while Arson played guitar, recited (more like shouted) the words to Big Rock Candy Mountain with a PUNK twist and then he joined me for lunch and we chatted about religion and politics until Sandy arrived and then they talked about deviated septums, tribal tattoo's, etc., and I didn't know what the hell was going on. First, a homeless guy upstages me with technology (he has a myspace account, for crying out loud) and then, Sandy blows me away with her major street props. I don't know exactly what that means, but I sure like saying it. So while they were chatting it up, I talked some businessmen into turning off a generator that was city property that was making an ungodly noise running lights in broad daylight. Well, it was making an annoying noise that was giving Sandy a headache. And we can't have that. Arson would have done it if I asked, but he has enough fines as it is for "camping illegally" in Camarillo. I mean, where do they expect homeless people to sleep? Arson bought us dessert which was a brownie with a hot cinnamon roll on top all smothered in whip cream. He calls it the monster.

We saw a baby, I shit you not, named Rebecca, aged six months and she likes DR PEPPER!!! Is that not cool, or what?

Then Sandy and I joined the knitster sisters for dinner at JJ's and John joined us. Sandy thought she really liked Sophia's new purse until Sandy realized it was a menu and John tried real hard not to crack up and probably has a new opinion of my homeless friend.

I hope everyone enjoyed dinner as it was a real treat for Sandy and me to stay close to home for a change. Not that Ventura is THAT far away, but it is nice to just hop in ones car and be home once in awhile. I could and should have walked to the coffee shop, but that's not going to happen.

I went in to work today Day Three to do some invoicing and got into a fight with the Controller WHILE WEARING A GHANDI SHIRT! Okay this is how it went. One of the guys that works for me, well, his wife was pregnant and she lost the baby. Very sad. So, he stayed home with her this week in lieu of working AS HE SHOULD HAVE. We get bereievement pay and I put in a request that he get paid and the controller tells me IT DIDN'T FALL UNDER THE GUIDELINES BECAUSE NO DEATH WAS INVOLVED. Now remember, I'm wearing my Ghandi shirt that says "Peace Hero" plus I just knew he was going to pull some shit like that so I didn't argue and told him to do and walked away. He then wrote me a memo and placed it under my door which I had previously slammed and then stomped my foot. I might have even said fiddle dee dee, I'm not real clear on that, but what an ASSHOLE. He was quoting IRS jargon, blah blah blah. He was then TOLD to do it by a man who outranks me and everybody else in the plant so now he's going to do it.

See, this is where a tattoo on my face would come in handy.

Vacation Day One

So, I had my first half day off for vacation today and so far the highlight of the day was my new temporary crown on tooth number 19 and the field mouse in my house

Went into work for a couple of hours, came home and decided to knit and watch television. Rosie isn't going to replace Bob Barker on the Price is Right. Paris Hilton's trash is for sale on ebay and there is a media frenzy expected when she gets liberated tomorrow or is she out as I write this? And didn't we already liberate Paris once before from that pesky Hitler? I just hope this doesn't put a damper on dinner at JJ's and knit night at Palermo's tomorrow. I had enough of the paparazzi at the Summer Solstice party. Oh and some lawyer thinks his pants are worth 54 million.

I was completely engrossed (apparently being on vacation lowers your IQ) and the phone rang and I was late for my dental appointment. Yippeeee

Came home and there was a mouse in the house. He scampered under the dishwasher and later tonight he was cornered by one Jack Russell and two cats and that little mouse stood his ground. I tried to get John to watch, I mean it was like National Fucking Geographic right in our living room, but he can't handle violence and was relieved to know that the mouse made it safely under the couch. The pets soon tired and either I'll find it dead in my bed tomorrow ala Revenge of the Godfathers Pets or he makes it out the doggie door.

Egad I have two more weeks of this. I think I'll give alcoholism a try. Did you know that housework makes a martini fun? No, that's not right.

A Concert with Jacob

The Kelly Richy Band concert was cancelled at the Ventura Theatre, but not to worry because Jacob, fruit of my looms, came to my rescue and serenaded me on his acoustic bass which he lovingly refers to as "his baby".

We had Lemon Drop Martinis together which was a first. He had one and we'll just say I had more than one.

I spruced up the yarn room and started to place my new yarn snugly in its' new home.

I went and bought an antique Chinese Knitting basket and then I received a phone call from a woman and she is coming next week to CLEAN MY HOUSE. John, love of my life and sneaky devil to boot, has been working on his nephew's patio cover and got the number of their maid.

I feel absolutely decadent, but I better start cleaning house.

My Loot

 

So the day starts out with work as usual. Mom calls and she doesn't need to go to the doctor after all. (she hurt her back a week ago vacuuming) So since the shop is shut down I asked to leave early and met up with Sandy and Sophia for an adventure in shopping. I explained to my boss that it was a knitting emergency and surprisingly he understood and let me go. He's so cool.

We made it to BB's unscathed and believe me there were some crazy drivers out today (NOT COUNTING SANDY. I'm kidding! I will travel anywhere with her) we shopped until we dropped. I convinced Sandy to park at the Coffee Bean and then we Jay walked to BB's! We were breaking the law people. I am such a bad influence. We ate somewhere in Summerland that Sophia suggested and I had a delicious burger and onion rings.

Then we went on to Ventura to knit at AFY. We took a detour and showed Sandy some of the finer camp sites in Ventura and then we ended up at Palermo's. I can't even begin to explain how hilarious trying to find a parking spot was or why. Perhpas I was giddy from all the shopping. We came across a store that sales nothing but stuff form Ireland. I bought John a beautiful cabled sweater to surprise him with before I told him how much I spent at BB's. I'm kidding. I snuck the yarn in while he was in the shower and have insulated my yarn room with it. We made it to AFI and were so excited to be there that we almost left the car running and walked away. I got the cutest little purse and MORE YARN!

The conversation at AFY was quite racy this week. We discussed irons, steamers, vacuums, (Dyson versus Windtunnel) Christa's trip to Germany and the hightlight was Laura called and filled us in on her andventures at school. It was all quite heady stuff. I was so mentally exhasted I had to pass on Mimi's and go home. Plus, Jacob wanted me to e-mail him his resume from a disc. I took Jacob to Palermo's and we sang along with System of a Down on my new stereo.

"Dreaming of screaming
someone kick me out of my mind
I hate these thoughts I can deny"

And then Jacob took a picture of me with my loot and he told me he thinks I am DE AGING! Is that not the sweetest thing you ever heard? Maybe he's planning on blackmailing me with it at a later date.

Father's Day 2007

 

John and his kids (Jackie and Little John) get entertained by a magician while we wait to eat. Then we went bowling!

Classmates dot com

I received an e-mail from an old schoolmate. We've kept in touch via classmates which is a way cool venue for keeping in touch with old friends.

James and I had this class called "outdoor education" together with Coach Tacket (aka Ticky Tackett) where the class met in the football field and tied knots and maybe they taught us how to put up tents. I don't recall all of the details because it was the '70's. Need I say more? I think we walked to the beach for our final exam and had a bbq. Anyway I know we had food because James brought pancit which I had never had before and James claims I called it something expletive. Me? Why,I would never do such a thing. Anyway, I love the stuff.

So, anywho James is going to be playing at the Majestic Ventura Theater this weekend (June 22nd) with the Kelly Richie Band

I think it 's time for the knitster sisters to have a non-knit night.
So check out the link I've attached and if you like what you hear come join John and me and maybe you ladies can get him drunk and talk him into remodeling your kitchens.

28 Hours Without Caffeine

Or How I spent My Morning with the Cardiologist

So I go to the doctors get weighed in, ( which is traumatic, to say the least) get injected with some nuclear medicine (which is how I suspect they dispose of nuclear waste) and am told to sit in a waiting room for the dye to kick in. There is an 81 year old man already there. I know he's 81 because he tells me right off the bat and then he wants to know if I am going to molest him. I say no. He wants to know why not. I threaten to poke him with my knitting needle. He wants to know if I will knit him a hat to keep the hair out of his eye. (He has no hair). I have three more hours of this. Oy vey!

I show his daughter how how to pick up a dropped a stitch with a crochet hook. She is utterly amazed and now I feel like fucking Hoodini!

I go and have pictures of my heart in a stationary position and fall asleep.

Go back and the old dude wants to know if I brought beer! I’m telling you I have some kind of radar for the eccentric. He goes on to tell me he hasn’t had a drink or a smoke in over 35 years. I, on the other hand, am now considering taking it up. At least that way, if the doctor find something wrong I have something other than knitting, sex or food to give up. Wow! I just realized on my priority list knitting came first. No pun intended.

The doctor arrives and I am forced to walk on the treadmill. I have never walked that far on my horse let alone on foot. Two minutes into the test the doctor looks at the sheet that the computer is spitting out and he says OH MY GOD! I stopped walking and damn near fell over as the treadmill was still going and said what? He says to me, “we still have 45 minutes to go on this test.” “That is so not cool,” I said. "You don't look at a patients report and say OH MY GOD!" He then grabs the monitor and very loudly yells, “OH MY GOD! DIAL 9-1-1”. About 10 seconds later a nurse was at the door and we would have been struck dead if looks could kill.

I am now walking as if I were in hot pursuit of a yarn sale and the doctor says “Does your chest hurt?” I reply “No, but my fucking legs are killing me.” He looks at his young assistant, who has been taking notes as the doctor calls them out and says, “put on her report HER FUCKING LEGS ARE KILLING HER! Okay read that back to me” I though the kid was going to die. I’m cracking up on the treadmill, which I don’t recommend by the way, because I know I cuss a lot, but I hadn’t realized I had cussed until the doctor repeated what I said. The doctor then sees my knitting and asks if I want the knitting simulator. Great, my cardiologist the comedian. Maybe he's a long lost nephew of Groucho.

I finish up and go rest and then get more picture taken of my heart and apparently I fell asleep because I woke myself up snoring.

I just hope that was the only noise coming from my body.