I'm So Mad I Could Blog

Well, see what  you've done?  I'm so pissed off I'm blogging again.


What in the hell is wrong with people these days.  Everyone is talking (judgmentally) about sex.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not shy when it comes to expressing myself orally.  I'm not one to brag, but Plies can explain the rest.




But seriously, there are people who want people killed for their sexual orientation.  This asshat is trying to introduce a law to execute homosexuals.  He's a fucking lawyer!  How do you get to be a fucking lawyer in this country and not understand that the constitution is the document we turn to when making laws not Leviticus! 


Then Ben Carson, a retired neurosurgeon (who might run for president) comes along and says being gay is a choice.  His logic?  Prison!  If the same sex is your only fucking option (I do love a good pun) you might partake.  You might get raped. You might want to establish yourself as head badass and be the rapist.  Or you might do it for old fashioned reasons like you want something in return. 


Prison doesn't make you CHOOSE to be gay.


What is this obsession with other peoples sexual habits or orientation and why are ya'll acting like a bunch of Russian communists?

For My Children

The Mother Night

This is the night of the Winter Solstice, the night of Yule, "the Wheel."
For thousands of years, the celebrations of this season have been those of gateways, the magic of passages--journeys of the folk from one year to the next, journeys of the spirit from one world to the next, the magic of birth and death and of rebirth. And because life deserves more than mere survival and continuance, the magic of this season has always been that of peace and plenty as well.

In the North, the months we know as December and January have long been called Freyja's Nights of Darkness. The year's longest night is the Mother Night, and in darkness the Lady labors to bring the Light to birth once more. The Young Sun is born at the Winter Solstice--Freyr the Lord, the Lady's consort, who controls the work of sun and rain and brings fruitfulness to the fields. Freyja the Lady is reborn of herself at Yule. Her blessing was invoked on all birthing women. A white candle that last burned on Mother Night is a charm for safe childbirth.


In the North Yule logs were burned because they were believed to “magically” make the sun burn brighter and Minstrel poets would sings about ancient legends.

“Listen my children come gather ye round
For I have a fine story to tell
One of Vikings and Lords and mystical fjords
And woman (how appropriate), named Hel

Of the Yggdrasil tree ever pure ever green
With leaves that never wither or die
Look closely tonight, in that darkest of nights
Can you see the Norns weaver your fate in the Sky?

In honor of Freyja put a Yule log on the fire
For fallen Berserkers let them hear your proud screams
And the Bilfrost Bridge just over the ridge
Will lead you to the land of you dreams

Keep holy always the Mother night
Winter Solstice, the Return of the Sun
Why even the Christians who stole our traditions
Partake in this glorious fun.” ---Love Mom

What A Freakin' Day

My day started out as complete madness at work because we are preparing to shut down for two weeks. My boss can't access the Internet from home, so he's instant messaging me wanting me to check my IP address dot com, the IT guy is on the phone, I get hold of the purchasing manager because Verizon has switched us from static to dynamic again on our IP address, I'm trying to balance the backlog, the new guy is having problems preparing a data package, the controller didn't show up AGAIN so I assist the president in obtaining a document for a banker. I have a lady clogging in the office next to me, it rained so hard my window leaked and all my binders of invoices, procedures and MSDS sheets are swollen from rain and I missed the truck and didn't get my freaking Dr. Pepper. I guess, what I'm trying to say is I needed a monkey and a football by noon.

So, I put out the metaphorical fire and managed to get home without killing and some guy even showed up dressed like Santa with an elf in tow and wanted to take a picture with me. WTF? He was from some temp agency and he's drumming up business and he had candy for our controller who didn't show up so I passed out truffles to everyone. Made my day. Quite honestly, I hope Santa shits in his stocking.

And two people brought me Dr. Pepper's because they knew I needed it.

That's why I love this place, madness and all.

Then I come home and sit down and realize I didn't deposit Mom's check at the bank. Mother is a stickler about these things and she wont rest until she knows I haven't lost it. Apparently, she still thinks I keep money in my shoe. So, I decide to deposit the check and go to Smart and Final for some last minute supplies for the Christmas eve party.

You know how those pesky ATM's never have envelopes when you need them? Well, I had put in my ATM card and started my deposit transaction when I realized there were no envelopes. So I go to the next ATM retrieve an envelope and walk back and the ATM that took my card now reads:

TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE, PLEASE USE ANOTHER BANK OF AMERICA ATM

I hear the drawers clanking around and I can hear people so I yell through the slot that took my card, "Hey, give me my card back, please." Which alarmed the man two ATM's over. I wait for several minutes and then I go to the bank door and it's locked, yet there are people in there and I wonder if perhaps this is a bad dream. I'm banging on the door and a man comes to the door and TALKS TO ME THROUGH THE CRACK! As if I was a bank robber or something. I explain to him my situation THROUGH SAID CRACK and he looks pissed like I've inconvenienced him.


So, I'm standing there waiting like an idiot trying to make idle conversation with anyone who wandered up because I know I would be nervous at someone just hanging around an ATM and the more I explained my real story the more nervous people became. Then I just acted crazy for shits and giggles, plus it was freaking cold. I told one man I thought Ted Kazinsky was on to something and another that I was at that ATM every night between 6 and 8 performing stand-up comedy.

The cranky man from the bank starts talking to me from the other side of the ATM and it appears to others not in close proximity that I am now having a conversation with an inanimate conversation, arm gestures and all.

My card had somehow managed to fall between the drawer and the slot I placed it in and the cranky man retreived it with a long piece of wire and mass quantities of scotch tape. He was quite pleased with himself and this cheered him up.

So, how was your day?

Just Another Thursday!

Called Mom today to check in with her as is my usual morning routine. Last week there was a drive-by in her neighborhood and this week she got an obscene phone call. Never a dull moment with this woman.

Who, makes obscene phone calls in this day and age? That is so 80's. But any who, the caller was mumbling and breathing hard and mother asked "Who is this?" "What do you want?" The caller replied with a question, "Do you like dick?"

Mother replied, "You mean, Dick Chaney? Is this some sort of Republican Poll?"

That woman cracks me up and I want to be just like her when I grow up.

And speaking of whack jobs, we had an individual walk into the office this afternoon who was out of his mind on drugs. He had on green cowboy boots and shorts and claimed to be on heroin, cocaine, marijuana and alcohol. He said he fell and hurt himself. I don't know how you could feel anything with that in your system, but then again he looked to be in his twenties and said he was ten. So, I'm thinking mental illness because, really, green boots and shorts! I mean, come on!

The police were called and the individual kept asking the president if he was a police officer. The police arrived and they in turn called the paramedics and the Fire Department. What must the neighbors think? The police officer actually knew him on a first name basis and with all the commotion I tried to see if the paramedics would front me a morphine drip. I'm kidding! No, I'm not! Shut up and finish the story.

Suddenly, every employee in the plant had to come to the front office and were placing wagers on who bit the big one. Big money was on a certain someone who is retiring this month. And every one had to see those green boots!

Man, I love my job.

The Phone Rings

in my office. I pick it up, "Quality. This is Becky." The voice on the other ends starts off...

"Mom, pause, what's an in-house network?" WTF? Who is this?

Jacob qualifies for health insurance at work now and he's in the Carpenter's Union so who does he call? Me. I should have told him to call his Shop Steward and hung up, but against my better judgment I told him to sign up for the HMO because I figure since HMO's don't give you many options, the phone calls might stop.

But somehow, I doubt it.

Thankfulness

I am thankful for my "motley crew" even when they drink my scotch and then think they are "scotch aficionados".

And I am thankful for the son who drove said scotch aficionado home.





I am thankful that the man I married will hug poor Blue when he is in a triptifan coma to let him know everything is alright.



I am thankful that the cat still finds my cooking appealing.



And after the turkey was cooked and the gravy was poured and the last potato was peeled, and the homemade whipping cream was on the pie, I still kicked their asses at bowling.

I bowled a 258.

What was the greatest thing before TOAST?

We recently purchased a Nintendo Wii and I'm telling you, this is the greatest god damn thing since Tequilla!

Go to your nearest Game Crazy for a free demonstration, I implore you.
Tell 'em Crazy Becky sent you and then go to Carl's Junior and order the Spaghetti Basket.

We have family night dinner almost every Monday, so on Veterans Day we had Mom's enchilada's and dad's beans.

Then, we hooked it up. Note: That's a Croatian and a Serbian working together. It's freaking magical, people. We need to get these to NATO and start distributing them to warring countries. Because, it is quite apparent to me now that Project Panama Red and M & M's didn't pan out. Who knew potheads would fight over the green ones?




And then we bowled




And here's the best part, it's fun for the whole family.



Today I am buying my OWN remote!

Subdued Adventures

This weekend Sandy, Lisa and I attended the "Harvest Artwalk" in Ventura where my co-worker, David Rivas, was the featured artist.

It was lots of fun, but David is going to be in big trouble. He held his exhibit at Fox Fine Jewelry. I bought some lovely Amber earrings and signed up for their mailing list and Lisa and Sandy started wish lists. They have a great selection of martini glasses that I might put on my wish list and I think Lisa said they have some kind of "Ladies Night".

Oh, and they carry Mary Frances PURSES!

But I digress! It was great to see David as the featured artist and he was kind and gracious to my knitster sisters. Sandy even got a hug.

Parking in Ventura is an adventure in itself. After cruising numerous packed parking lots and debating whether to risk a tow away zone Sandy spotted a car that looked like it was leaving in a two hour zone. We waited for them to leave and as soon as we were parked I spotted a vacancy in the "all day zone". So I ran across the street and stood in it until Sandy got her car their.

There was a homeless guy with the biggest water head I had ever seen until we got closer and I realized he just had dread locks tucked into a beanie. Bummer.


We saw One World Drummers and Sandy got me bubbles and a pencil for Eli.

I'll leave you with a picture David took of the 50 Hammer crew where we work. He won first prize for photo journalism for this one. I bought a print and had the whole crew sign it.

Fire Season

This is the view from my backyard today. Where there is brown sky you would normally see the foothills. And geez, we have a lot of lines near those euc's. Our poor critters are all in a snit and Blue has taken to barking at the wind.

I was all alone in my department today. My boss doesn't work on Monday's. David had to leave early and pick up his kids because his wife was stuck on some freeway that was shutdown due to power lines. Cornwell's on oxygen and can't leave the house and Tony was sick, too. And I forgot to bring my knitting! Bud, our Village Idiot due to affirmative action, pissed me off again so he bought me lunch. This is really working out nicely for me.

The wind has been wreaking havoc in Camarillo. Knocking over trees and what not. And speaking of trees, it has always fascinated me how trees have adapted to or evolved with fire. Like the Manzanita, for example. It's seeds are refractory, meaning they won't germinate until after being exposed to fire. It needs fire.

So, a seed can lie on the bed of a forest for a hundred years and along comes a fire and out of that destruction comes new life. I think it gives me hope.

Homeland Security My Ass

What is the appropriate threat level color for a B-52 carrying nuclear weapons by your own government over your state?

I tell you what, that is not going to look good on a resume.

And to your left, my right, you can see what use to be Louisiana. I can see the Spike Lee Documentary trailer already.

It flew across three states carrying six missiles. Apparently, it breached such a level that they had to notify Bush. Egad, I bet he was pissed. What else could possibly go wrong while he is in office? His curse is damn-near, dare I say it, of BIBLICAL proportions? Okay, so let's refresh our memories on what has happened thus far. Ready?

There was 9/11. (But, we don't fuck around when it comes to building Embassiess in the Emerald City.) There was that Space Shuttle that disintegrated over Texas. There was Hurricane Katrina.There was that slight oil spill in Alaska. I think there was an alleged flu pandemic somewhere in the mix.

Oh, but there have been good times too. Remember the time Dubya forgot to chew his pretzel before he swallowed? Oh, how I laughed and laughed at that one. He really is "the accidental president". But seriously, who fucking chokes on a pretzel? That's what you get for gagging me.
There was the time he fell off his bike in Scotland and again in Texas. Oh, he works hard to raise our spirits.

What next? Panty raids at Gitmo?

Okay, your turn. Post as many Bush Blunders that you can remember or place a wager on what could possibly go wrong next.

Ever Had One Of Those Days

That was so surreal and bizarre that if you hadn't been there in person you would never believe it? Me neither. But.... We had one hell of an adventure in Santa Monica while shopping for yarn.

Sandy, Lisa, Terry and I went on a road trip to Wild Fiber for some Koigu. Sandy was going to drive so we met up at her house. Terry forgot her knitting so she graciously volunteered to drive and off we go.

By the time we got to Wild Fiber, poor Terry is a nervous wreck from Lisa and myself hollering last minute directions from, where else, the back seat. Well, we were knitting and would look up at the last minute. We get to the front after a series of u-turns and cutting across driveways and Sandy had to parallel park. She is great at it, by the way.

I bought some koigu to make a baby jacket, some Socks that Rock to make a scarf from a free pattern from Natasha (the new owner) and some blue Baby Alpaca because apparently Lisa thinks I should be bathed in blue, so who am I to argue. I buy my stuff. Terry buys some stuff. Sandy rings her stuff up and decides to put something back on the shelf, sees the amount on the register and is SHOCKED at how much money some people will spend on yarn only to realize it was hers. OMG where's my phone?

There is four of us and we made at least eight trips to the cash register. While I was waiting for them to ring up there cash and prizes I spotted this purse and had to have it. It was actually calling out to me or maybe I'm hearing voices. We got directions to go eat at a coffee shop owned by Bob Dylan, we go out to Terry's car and she asks if someone will drive. Sandy volunteers, we get our bags put away and seated when Sandy turns the key to start the engine and the alarm goes off. The car wouldn't start the alarm wouldn't turn off. Lisa is suppose to be back by two to pickup her car. Sandy feels bad becasue she thinks she broke something. I'm wondering if it would be rude to return to the store and knit (where they have a/C) while they sort this out. So basically, all we needed at this point was a monkey and a football.

Terry decides to cut some wire and that didn't work. I call John and he doesn't answer the phone so I call my step-son and he thinks cutting wires probably isn't a good idea. I walk across the street to a British car mechanic ( who si obvioulsy not British) and he directs me to a 76 Station. Get back to the car, Lisa gets hold of the dealer in Thousand Oaks on her cell, they walk Terry through a serious of locking and unlocking her doors and the car still won't start and the alarm still won't stop so they suggest she get towed. Egad!

Lisa and I walk up to the 76 Station, talk to "Hector" the mechanic, he seems extremely amused by our story and volunteers to take a look at the car for us. We walk back and Terry had HOT WIRED HER CAR! She's like McGyver, only with yarn. How Terry knew how to hot wire a car I really didn't want to pry, but I was extremely impressed.

We went to the 18 Street Coffee Shop, which had a great atmosphere, had some great food and planned a bank heist for next week.

It was a great adventure. Good times, Good times.

I Feel Like A Fraud

To those that think I am a wonderful parent, I have a confession to make. My son Joseph is in jail. I'm not proud of it and I know he isn't either. I just needed to come clean due to the recent posts regarding my "awesomeness" as a parent.

I didn't know until I read on the internet that he had been homeless. Which I find ironic because whenever I am asked why do I associate with Arson, who is homeless, I always resonded that he's somebody's son and I would hope that if it ever happened to one of mine someone would do the same.

So, to make a long story short my parental skills are somewhat sketchy, but in the meantime, I'm waiting on that "my son was inmate of the month" bumper sticker because they've already made him a trustee.

I'm hoping that somewhere in Texarkana, over a bowl of grits for breakfast, something profound will have a "sobering" effect on Joseph, but I don't dare say it out loud because I use to wish my boys would read and I received my first letter from Joseph and at the end of his apology was a request for books.

Moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for and the first thirty years of parenthood really are the hardest.

Three Kids and a Funeral

Went to a funeral today for my brother-in-laws' father, but to my boys he has always been "Grandpa Gedies. Lover of chocolates, cigars, beer and a good joke.

Roger and Jacob were pallbearers and Sean was in full dress, as Grandpa Gedies had joined the Navy at the ripe old age of 16. Sean marched in front of the coffin as his brothers and other family members carried it into the church and gave Grandpa Gedies one more salute.

Then after the Mass we went to the cemetary and the boys carried Grandpa Gedies one more time to his final resting place. Sean presented a flag to Grandma Gedies and brought an additional flag that had been given to him for his service in Iraq. The flag was flown over Iraq and he presented it to his Uncle Danny, which made it so very special.

I shed tears both for the loss of life and out of pride for my boys for stepping up at a time when someone else needed them.

And to top off the day, Jacob's girlfriend called to let us know she had passed the test Jacob had been helping her with to become a US Citizen.

I don't think I've ever been prouder of those boys.

Tonight's Sleepover

Astro came to spend the night tonight. His first night back since we gave him to Eli for his birthday. John called me out to the living room like there was some kind ov emergency



This is the first time Blue has ever let Astro on the couch. I think he missed his brother.

Fucking HMO Son's of Bitches

My favorite line from "As Good As It Gets". So anyway, I call my HMO provider "Kaiser" to make an appointment for female plumbing problems. They send to to a guy, whom I've never met and who after asking numerous questions, tells me I have a dysfunction uterus! Well, this is not going to look good on my yearly review as a Quality Control Manager, but it does explain my children.

Apparently this guy is good because he actually gave me a diagnosis without even "assessing the situation." He didn't venture to look "downtown" and he didn't even peak at my "package". And ladies you know what I'm talking about. I don't like putting my feet in stirrups unless there is a horse involved, but come on. Not a blood test, not a urine test. Zip! Wait, he did say I looked tired and wanted to know if I was getting enough sleep.

So, I called Planned Parenthood and spoke with the nice folks and found at that you can't be diagnosed with a "dysfunctional Uterus" without having tests performed and they told me what to say so I called back and got an appointment for next week with another doctor or Planned Parenthood will do it for $100. So, I just wanted to put that information out there in case any of you have Kaiser, because the female "annual" checkups are know every three years. I really suck at math.

So, my boss gets back today and what do I do? Sleep in. He must think I do this all the time. So I stop to get coffee, well, what's five more minutes when you're an hour late? Right? Wrong! I park at the tile shop because the parking lot is full at the coffee shop and when I came out a damn dump truck had me blocked.

When I got to work I had realized I had locked the front door thereby locking out the cleaning lady. Now I have to CLEAN HOUSE this weekend.

Thank G-d it Thursday.

Sturgeon Moon

Tonights the full moon and I don't know if any of you got the chance, but this morning at 2 AM my husband woke me up to see the lunar eclipse and it was awesome.

Only a lunatic gets up at the crack of dawn to see a lunar eclipse. So, naturally there we were with our pack of dogs (who were quite disgruntled when they discovered there was no food involved and they went back to bed mumbling something about opposable thumbs being overrated and a bipedal walker Texas Ranger) and then the shadow fell across the moon and the sky lit up like the Mother Night.

Okay so I leave you with Mani, God of the Moon, and tomorrow Moe and Jack.

Seems Like Forever

Since I posted last. Work has been busy, two audits in two weeks and we passed both with flying colors. Eli started kindergarten. He sure looks cute in his uniform.

I am making Jacob a Cavendish for either his birthday which is in September or I will give it to him for Christmas. I hope the colors are "manly" enough for him and if not fuck him.

I also started the Lizard Ridge blanket and I really like the color, but my G-d are my hands killing me. I am definitely putting this on hold for awhile until I figure out how to knit backwards.

And last but not least Eli gets to spend every Monday night now with grandma and grandpa while his mom attends college. So we had family supper and Grandpa made meatloaf and potatoes and look at the damage that boys does to an ear of corn

The scab on his elbows was his first boo boo at Kindergarten and he already got a note from the teacher because he brought a toy to class in his pocket.

The cracker don't fall far from the box.

My Little Working Man

I just couldn't resit taking this picture this morning as Jacob made his lunch for work. John gave him an old lunch box and he bought him Gatorade and Root Beer and cooked him dinner last night. Fried potatoes with fried eggs and fried sausage smothered in cheese and John's homemade salsa. Manly food.

As you can see in the background I have a pile of dishes and another load was already in the dishwasher. The boy eats like a freaking hoover.

Randon Rantings

So, it is now day 3,496 that I have been held captive by my Central Park Hoodie. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but it sure seems like it. Not only did I screw up on the cables on the front panels the first time, but the second round I neglected to change my needle from a 6 to 8 after I ripped it out again. So, I have now ripped it out for a third time and we will just see what blond moment I have next. I'm not even going to jinx it by showing a progress pictures.

But I will share the lovely yarn that arrived today. It is called Sea Silk and it is just beautiful and they sent the nicest card along with it. I bought it online at Knit-Purl I have no idea what I will knit yet, most likely a shawl, but it is so soft.

I was pleasantly surprised to have Jacob "fruit of my looms" stay the night and his pets sure were ever so glad to see him again. Both pets use to sleep with him when he lived at home. So, to get you up to speed, he's no longer working in the meat department in the Valley. He is now an apprentice in the Carpenter's Union and he's working at the Oaks. So it's closer from here than the valley to drive. And I happen to have stuff to make sandwiches in my refrigerator. (See this is why every time they move out I fill a room with yarn)

This kid changes jobs like I buy yarn. I can't keep up with him anymore. Oh to be young and adventurous again. Wait! I was adventurous last Friday when Sandy, Sophia and I and went to Adventures for Kids and we each got a copy of the new Harry Potter book.

It sure was great to be in an independent book store again.

Okay, Miss Sophia, I updated my blog. Tag, you're it!

What a Weekend!

I can remember putting my boys into the back seat and driving and them falling asleep like it was just yesterday. Oh, wait it was yesterday! John, Sean and I drove to Canoga Park to pick up Jacob's uncle and then on to Woodland Hills to watch Jacob graduate. I had to miss knit night! And being the Fruit of my Looms that he is Jacob was the ABSOLUTE LAST graduate to walk across the stage.


I know, I should be proud and bragging, but it was hot and they handed out these plasting hands for clapping and there were kids behind me and I was about to ready to go ape shit.

So, we went to dinner with his uncle and buzzin cousins Krissy and Ikaika

Then today I dive to my local coffee shop and they are having a dad gum street fair and the streets were blocked and parking was jacked up so needless to say I was quite cranky by the time I got my morning cup of coffee. And Arson was there with his bible study group, saw I was cranky and gave me a rose. And then he told the group I was his adopted mom. Is that not the sweetest thing?

Came home in a good mood and and was going to do housework and I always start with the bed and since Louis refused to move I went on strike.