Subdued Adventures

This weekend Sandy, Lisa and I attended the "Harvest Artwalk" in Ventura where my co-worker, David Rivas, was the featured artist.

It was lots of fun, but David is going to be in big trouble. He held his exhibit at Fox Fine Jewelry. I bought some lovely Amber earrings and signed up for their mailing list and Lisa and Sandy started wish lists. They have a great selection of martini glasses that I might put on my wish list and I think Lisa said they have some kind of "Ladies Night".

Oh, and they carry Mary Frances PURSES!

But I digress! It was great to see David as the featured artist and he was kind and gracious to my knitster sisters. Sandy even got a hug.

Parking in Ventura is an adventure in itself. After cruising numerous packed parking lots and debating whether to risk a tow away zone Sandy spotted a car that looked like it was leaving in a two hour zone. We waited for them to leave and as soon as we were parked I spotted a vacancy in the "all day zone". So I ran across the street and stood in it until Sandy got her car their.

There was a homeless guy with the biggest water head I had ever seen until we got closer and I realized he just had dread locks tucked into a beanie. Bummer.


We saw One World Drummers and Sandy got me bubbles and a pencil for Eli.

I'll leave you with a picture David took of the 50 Hammer crew where we work. He won first prize for photo journalism for this one. I bought a print and had the whole crew sign it.

Fire Season

This is the view from my backyard today. Where there is brown sky you would normally see the foothills. And geez, we have a lot of lines near those euc's. Our poor critters are all in a snit and Blue has taken to barking at the wind.

I was all alone in my department today. My boss doesn't work on Monday's. David had to leave early and pick up his kids because his wife was stuck on some freeway that was shutdown due to power lines. Cornwell's on oxygen and can't leave the house and Tony was sick, too. And I forgot to bring my knitting! Bud, our Village Idiot due to affirmative action, pissed me off again so he bought me lunch. This is really working out nicely for me.

The wind has been wreaking havoc in Camarillo. Knocking over trees and what not. And speaking of trees, it has always fascinated me how trees have adapted to or evolved with fire. Like the Manzanita, for example. It's seeds are refractory, meaning they won't germinate until after being exposed to fire. It needs fire.

So, a seed can lie on the bed of a forest for a hundred years and along comes a fire and out of that destruction comes new life. I think it gives me hope.

Homeland Security My Ass

What is the appropriate threat level color for a B-52 carrying nuclear weapons by your own government over your state?

I tell you what, that is not going to look good on a resume.

And to your left, my right, you can see what use to be Louisiana. I can see the Spike Lee Documentary trailer already.

It flew across three states carrying six missiles. Apparently, it breached such a level that they had to notify Bush. Egad, I bet he was pissed. What else could possibly go wrong while he is in office? His curse is damn-near, dare I say it, of BIBLICAL proportions? Okay, so let's refresh our memories on what has happened thus far. Ready?

There was 9/11. (But, we don't fuck around when it comes to building Embassiess in the Emerald City.) There was that Space Shuttle that disintegrated over Texas. There was Hurricane Katrina.There was that slight oil spill in Alaska. I think there was an alleged flu pandemic somewhere in the mix.

Oh, but there have been good times too. Remember the time Dubya forgot to chew his pretzel before he swallowed? Oh, how I laughed and laughed at that one. He really is "the accidental president". But seriously, who fucking chokes on a pretzel? That's what you get for gagging me.
There was the time he fell off his bike in Scotland and again in Texas. Oh, he works hard to raise our spirits.

What next? Panty raids at Gitmo?

Okay, your turn. Post as many Bush Blunders that you can remember or place a wager on what could possibly go wrong next.

Ever Had One Of Those Days

That was so surreal and bizarre that if you hadn't been there in person you would never believe it? Me neither. But.... We had one hell of an adventure in Santa Monica while shopping for yarn.

Sandy, Lisa, Terry and I went on a road trip to Wild Fiber for some Koigu. Sandy was going to drive so we met up at her house. Terry forgot her knitting so she graciously volunteered to drive and off we go.

By the time we got to Wild Fiber, poor Terry is a nervous wreck from Lisa and myself hollering last minute directions from, where else, the back seat. Well, we were knitting and would look up at the last minute. We get to the front after a series of u-turns and cutting across driveways and Sandy had to parallel park. She is great at it, by the way.

I bought some koigu to make a baby jacket, some Socks that Rock to make a scarf from a free pattern from Natasha (the new owner) and some blue Baby Alpaca because apparently Lisa thinks I should be bathed in blue, so who am I to argue. I buy my stuff. Terry buys some stuff. Sandy rings her stuff up and decides to put something back on the shelf, sees the amount on the register and is SHOCKED at how much money some people will spend on yarn only to realize it was hers. OMG where's my phone?

There is four of us and we made at least eight trips to the cash register. While I was waiting for them to ring up there cash and prizes I spotted this purse and had to have it. It was actually calling out to me or maybe I'm hearing voices. We got directions to go eat at a coffee shop owned by Bob Dylan, we go out to Terry's car and she asks if someone will drive. Sandy volunteers, we get our bags put away and seated when Sandy turns the key to start the engine and the alarm goes off. The car wouldn't start the alarm wouldn't turn off. Lisa is suppose to be back by two to pickup her car. Sandy feels bad becasue she thinks she broke something. I'm wondering if it would be rude to return to the store and knit (where they have a/C) while they sort this out. So basically, all we needed at this point was a monkey and a football.

Terry decides to cut some wire and that didn't work. I call John and he doesn't answer the phone so I call my step-son and he thinks cutting wires probably isn't a good idea. I walk across the street to a British car mechanic ( who si obvioulsy not British) and he directs me to a 76 Station. Get back to the car, Lisa gets hold of the dealer in Thousand Oaks on her cell, they walk Terry through a serious of locking and unlocking her doors and the car still won't start and the alarm still won't stop so they suggest she get towed. Egad!

Lisa and I walk up to the 76 Station, talk to "Hector" the mechanic, he seems extremely amused by our story and volunteers to take a look at the car for us. We walk back and Terry had HOT WIRED HER CAR! She's like McGyver, only with yarn. How Terry knew how to hot wire a car I really didn't want to pry, but I was extremely impressed.

We went to the 18 Street Coffee Shop, which had a great atmosphere, had some great food and planned a bank heist for next week.

It was a great adventure. Good times, Good times.

I Feel Like A Fraud

To those that think I am a wonderful parent, I have a confession to make. My son Joseph is in jail. I'm not proud of it and I know he isn't either. I just needed to come clean due to the recent posts regarding my "awesomeness" as a parent.

I didn't know until I read on the internet that he had been homeless. Which I find ironic because whenever I am asked why do I associate with Arson, who is homeless, I always resonded that he's somebody's son and I would hope that if it ever happened to one of mine someone would do the same.

So, to make a long story short my parental skills are somewhat sketchy, but in the meantime, I'm waiting on that "my son was inmate of the month" bumper sticker because they've already made him a trustee.

I'm hoping that somewhere in Texarkana, over a bowl of grits for breakfast, something profound will have a "sobering" effect on Joseph, but I don't dare say it out loud because I use to wish my boys would read and I received my first letter from Joseph and at the end of his apology was a request for books.

Moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for and the first thirty years of parenthood really are the hardest.

Three Kids and a Funeral

Went to a funeral today for my brother-in-laws' father, but to my boys he has always been "Grandpa Gedies. Lover of chocolates, cigars, beer and a good joke.

Roger and Jacob were pallbearers and Sean was in full dress, as Grandpa Gedies had joined the Navy at the ripe old age of 16. Sean marched in front of the coffin as his brothers and other family members carried it into the church and gave Grandpa Gedies one more salute.

Then after the Mass we went to the cemetary and the boys carried Grandpa Gedies one more time to his final resting place. Sean presented a flag to Grandma Gedies and brought an additional flag that had been given to him for his service in Iraq. The flag was flown over Iraq and he presented it to his Uncle Danny, which made it so very special.

I shed tears both for the loss of life and out of pride for my boys for stepping up at a time when someone else needed them.

And to top off the day, Jacob's girlfriend called to let us know she had passed the test Jacob had been helping her with to become a US Citizen.

I don't think I've ever been prouder of those boys.

Tonight's Sleepover

Astro came to spend the night tonight. His first night back since we gave him to Eli for his birthday. John called me out to the living room like there was some kind ov emergency



This is the first time Blue has ever let Astro on the couch. I think he missed his brother.

Fucking HMO Son's of Bitches

My favorite line from "As Good As It Gets". So anyway, I call my HMO provider "Kaiser" to make an appointment for female plumbing problems. They send to to a guy, whom I've never met and who after asking numerous questions, tells me I have a dysfunction uterus! Well, this is not going to look good on my yearly review as a Quality Control Manager, but it does explain my children.

Apparently this guy is good because he actually gave me a diagnosis without even "assessing the situation." He didn't venture to look "downtown" and he didn't even peak at my "package". And ladies you know what I'm talking about. I don't like putting my feet in stirrups unless there is a horse involved, but come on. Not a blood test, not a urine test. Zip! Wait, he did say I looked tired and wanted to know if I was getting enough sleep.

So, I called Planned Parenthood and spoke with the nice folks and found at that you can't be diagnosed with a "dysfunctional Uterus" without having tests performed and they told me what to say so I called back and got an appointment for next week with another doctor or Planned Parenthood will do it for $100. So, I just wanted to put that information out there in case any of you have Kaiser, because the female "annual" checkups are know every three years. I really suck at math.

So, my boss gets back today and what do I do? Sleep in. He must think I do this all the time. So I stop to get coffee, well, what's five more minutes when you're an hour late? Right? Wrong! I park at the tile shop because the parking lot is full at the coffee shop and when I came out a damn dump truck had me blocked.

When I got to work I had realized I had locked the front door thereby locking out the cleaning lady. Now I have to CLEAN HOUSE this weekend.

Thank G-d it Thursday.

Sturgeon Moon

Tonights the full moon and I don't know if any of you got the chance, but this morning at 2 AM my husband woke me up to see the lunar eclipse and it was awesome.

Only a lunatic gets up at the crack of dawn to see a lunar eclipse. So, naturally there we were with our pack of dogs (who were quite disgruntled when they discovered there was no food involved and they went back to bed mumbling something about opposable thumbs being overrated and a bipedal walker Texas Ranger) and then the shadow fell across the moon and the sky lit up like the Mother Night.

Okay so I leave you with Mani, God of the Moon, and tomorrow Moe and Jack.

Seems Like Forever

Since I posted last. Work has been busy, two audits in two weeks and we passed both with flying colors. Eli started kindergarten. He sure looks cute in his uniform.

I am making Jacob a Cavendish for either his birthday which is in September or I will give it to him for Christmas. I hope the colors are "manly" enough for him and if not fuck him.

I also started the Lizard Ridge blanket and I really like the color, but my G-d are my hands killing me. I am definitely putting this on hold for awhile until I figure out how to knit backwards.

And last but not least Eli gets to spend every Monday night now with grandma and grandpa while his mom attends college. So we had family supper and Grandpa made meatloaf and potatoes and look at the damage that boys does to an ear of corn

The scab on his elbows was his first boo boo at Kindergarten and he already got a note from the teacher because he brought a toy to class in his pocket.

The cracker don't fall far from the box.

My Little Working Man

I just couldn't resit taking this picture this morning as Jacob made his lunch for work. John gave him an old lunch box and he bought him Gatorade and Root Beer and cooked him dinner last night. Fried potatoes with fried eggs and fried sausage smothered in cheese and John's homemade salsa. Manly food.

As you can see in the background I have a pile of dishes and another load was already in the dishwasher. The boy eats like a freaking hoover.

Randon Rantings

So, it is now day 3,496 that I have been held captive by my Central Park Hoodie. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but it sure seems like it. Not only did I screw up on the cables on the front panels the first time, but the second round I neglected to change my needle from a 6 to 8 after I ripped it out again. So, I have now ripped it out for a third time and we will just see what blond moment I have next. I'm not even going to jinx it by showing a progress pictures.

But I will share the lovely yarn that arrived today. It is called Sea Silk and it is just beautiful and they sent the nicest card along with it. I bought it online at Knit-Purl I have no idea what I will knit yet, most likely a shawl, but it is so soft.

I was pleasantly surprised to have Jacob "fruit of my looms" stay the night and his pets sure were ever so glad to see him again. Both pets use to sleep with him when he lived at home. So, to get you up to speed, he's no longer working in the meat department in the Valley. He is now an apprentice in the Carpenter's Union and he's working at the Oaks. So it's closer from here than the valley to drive. And I happen to have stuff to make sandwiches in my refrigerator. (See this is why every time they move out I fill a room with yarn)

This kid changes jobs like I buy yarn. I can't keep up with him anymore. Oh to be young and adventurous again. Wait! I was adventurous last Friday when Sandy, Sophia and I and went to Adventures for Kids and we each got a copy of the new Harry Potter book.

It sure was great to be in an independent book store again.

Okay, Miss Sophia, I updated my blog. Tag, you're it!

What a Weekend!

I can remember putting my boys into the back seat and driving and them falling asleep like it was just yesterday. Oh, wait it was yesterday! John, Sean and I drove to Canoga Park to pick up Jacob's uncle and then on to Woodland Hills to watch Jacob graduate. I had to miss knit night! And being the Fruit of my Looms that he is Jacob was the ABSOLUTE LAST graduate to walk across the stage.


I know, I should be proud and bragging, but it was hot and they handed out these plasting hands for clapping and there were kids behind me and I was about to ready to go ape shit.

So, we went to dinner with his uncle and buzzin cousins Krissy and Ikaika

Then today I dive to my local coffee shop and they are having a dad gum street fair and the streets were blocked and parking was jacked up so needless to say I was quite cranky by the time I got my morning cup of coffee. And Arson was there with his bible study group, saw I was cranky and gave me a rose. And then he told the group I was his adopted mom. Is that not the sweetest thing?

Came home in a good mood and and was going to do housework and I always start with the bed and since Louis refused to move I went on strike.

Did I Mention I Was Born With My Foot In My Mouth?

I was hanging out at my local coffee shop today knitting where I meet the nicest people. Okay, he wasn't there today, but I did buy him someting for his nose.

So, I'm knitting and as always, knitting is an ice breaker and people come up, ask questions, yadda yadda yadda. So today this lovely couple were in town from Thousand Oaks. Big drive. She was admiring my Central Park Hoodie and we talked about yarn stores. She'd never heard of AFY so I gave her directions. A really nice lady. They're getting ready to go to Florida. She knit a sweater for her granddaughter and her grandson wants a vest.

So, then her husband and I start to talk and they had gone to see the Tennessee Three last night in the park. We have free concerts in Constitution Park during the summer months and John and I had gone with Sandy and Marty and we had a great time, but we never heard the end of where Sandy and I had strategically situated the chairs. You see, when we placed the chairs on the grass they were in the shade. When we went back to watch the concert the sun HAD MOVED! True story, I wouldn't shit you.

Okay, so back to the coffee shop. So this man and I were talking about the concert and how they should do someting about the kids running around and then he says something silly about women and knitting. And my standard line with all men is "Did you bring your whittling?" And I'll be go to hell if that man didn't show me a scar about three inches long on his left hand (palm area) that he got from WHITTLING! "True story", his wife said.

Who the fuck still whittles?

Hi, My Name Is Eli

And it's been eight minutes since I had my last hit of catnp.

I walked in the door and sprawled all over the floor was Eli and a bag of catnip accidently left where he had access.



How long he was rolling around in the catnip I have no idea, but he was toasted when I got home. At one point he bumped the door and thought it was attacking him.



Louis tried to cut in on the action and then a fight broke out and I had to send him outside.

I'm thinking an intervention is in order.

If You're Not Outraged You're Not Paying Attention

I am not a viewer of the O'Reilly Cluster Fuck, but I caught a glimpse of it last night at JJ's and the bastard was talking smack about Will Ferrells' the Landlord. How the fuck is that news? It's comedy much like the mayor's extramarital affair. What a joke.


Al Gore's son caught with drugs WHILE DRIVING A PRIUS is not news. But the fact they go 100mph is.


The fact that a lake disappeared in two months due to global warming is news.

And today of all days, this is news

and this is news.

To all the men and women who serve their country, I thank you for your service.

Conversations with Mother

Mother told me a story she made up about me and my pets today.

Louis to Eli: Have you notice how clean the place is these days?

Eli to Louis: Yes, and have you noticed our owner has started to grow claws?

Louis to ELi: Yes I did. You don't think she'll start using the litter box do you?

Hank to the cats: Hell no her butt's too big.

Is it any wonder I turned out like I did?

Vacation Day Who Knows

I'm really starting to enjoy this. Today I slept in until EIGHT THIRTY! Which is quite late for me. I'm having a great time, in spite of assholes like I ran into yesterday.

I was in line at Rite Aid getting John's prescription and the man at the head of the line was causing a raucous and belittling the young man working and this horrid woman kept laughing. Finally the young man had had enough and he told the man if he disrespected him one more time he wouldn't wait on him and he was very polite while doing this. And then went on to remind that man that as an ADULT he should know better. Well the man turned around with a smirk and I recognized him as the guy in charge of sending kids on missionary services, or whatever you call them, at a local church in town. He hangs out at Palermos's. I had just spoke with him Tuesday, for crying out loud, because we were talking about how I read children's' books every summer. He complained to the manager wanting the young man fired! This is an adult in charge of youths?

Okay, so then the horrid lady gets her turn and all the while she kept laughing while the young man was trying to be professional with the irate Jesus Freak, saying out loud that if she were on welfare or an illegal alien she would be treated better. She gets rung up and then she yells that she's not going to pay for a prescription twice. He explains that her doctor prescribed 15 pills (half a day) and then he called in another fifteen. Which is a new prescription. She says she's suppose to take one pill a day now, demands to talk to the pharmacist and then wants the pharmacist to call her doctor RIGHT NOW. I walked up beside her and said perhaps she should call her doctor as that's how the civilized world works. The computer doesn't know the doctor increased her dosage and these people are just trying to do their jobs and yelling at them isn't helping and perhaps she should get some fake documents and say she's from Canada. She pretended I wasn't there or was rendered speechless. In any event, she finally shut the fuck up! Which was all I wanted and I'm sure the 18 people waiting in line as well.

I finally got my turn and picked up John's pill, left, called back, talked with the pharmacist and told him he deserves hazardous pay. Something diabolical need to be done to those people who are so rude to people who are just trying to do their jobs. I mean, do they really believe that they fuck with them on purpose so they can stand there and get yelled at and not yell back?

Update

Eli came to spend the night and Grandpa showed Eli a lovely trick that involves pulling ones finger. Eli fled the room, came back and told Grandpa, "don't do that! That was disgusting." You go Eli, I've been telling him that for years. Eli told us all about his fishing trip. He is such a man now. Fish stories already?

Eli modeled my new Cavendish while standing next to Jacob's cat Eli who has taken over the yarn room. They are both such hams. My son Sean is finally going to be home for at least three years so the move into their new house today and Eli gets a dog from the pound. He's so excited and he wants one like Hank.

And Bob's your Uncle.

Vacation Day Two

Has taught me that you know you are technologically challenged when homeless people offer you tips on electronics. My friend Arson, (and yes, I will talk to anybody if they are interesting) taught me that I can lock my iPod and do a whole bunch of other shit. Then he commandered some guys laptop and we looked at websites. Gross stuff, something my boys would do to try and shock me. It is just amazing what people will let you get away with if you have tattoos on your face. I need one for work, most definitely, but more like a decal. John can barely handle that I talk to homeless people let alone get a tattoo. What a fuddy duddy. I never get to do anything.

I sat and knitted at the local coffee shop while Arson played guitar, recited (more like shouted) the words to Big Rock Candy Mountain with a PUNK twist and then he joined me for lunch and we chatted about religion and politics until Sandy arrived and then they talked about deviated septums, tribal tattoo's, etc., and I didn't know what the hell was going on. First, a homeless guy upstages me with technology (he has a myspace account, for crying out loud) and then, Sandy blows me away with her major street props. I don't know exactly what that means, but I sure like saying it. So while they were chatting it up, I talked some businessmen into turning off a generator that was city property that was making an ungodly noise running lights in broad daylight. Well, it was making an annoying noise that was giving Sandy a headache. And we can't have that. Arson would have done it if I asked, but he has enough fines as it is for "camping illegally" in Camarillo. I mean, where do they expect homeless people to sleep? Arson bought us dessert which was a brownie with a hot cinnamon roll on top all smothered in whip cream. He calls it the monster.

We saw a baby, I shit you not, named Rebecca, aged six months and she likes DR PEPPER!!! Is that not cool, or what?

Then Sandy and I joined the knitster sisters for dinner at JJ's and John joined us. Sandy thought she really liked Sophia's new purse until Sandy realized it was a menu and John tried real hard not to crack up and probably has a new opinion of my homeless friend.

I hope everyone enjoyed dinner as it was a real treat for Sandy and me to stay close to home for a change. Not that Ventura is THAT far away, but it is nice to just hop in ones car and be home once in awhile. I could and should have walked to the coffee shop, but that's not going to happen.

I went in to work today Day Three to do some invoicing and got into a fight with the Controller WHILE WEARING A GHANDI SHIRT! Okay this is how it went. One of the guys that works for me, well, his wife was pregnant and she lost the baby. Very sad. So, he stayed home with her this week in lieu of working AS HE SHOULD HAVE. We get bereievement pay and I put in a request that he get paid and the controller tells me IT DIDN'T FALL UNDER THE GUIDELINES BECAUSE NO DEATH WAS INVOLVED. Now remember, I'm wearing my Ghandi shirt that says "Peace Hero" plus I just knew he was going to pull some shit like that so I didn't argue and told him to do and walked away. He then wrote me a memo and placed it under my door which I had previously slammed and then stomped my foot. I might have even said fiddle dee dee, I'm not real clear on that, but what an ASSHOLE. He was quoting IRS jargon, blah blah blah. He was then TOLD to do it by a man who outranks me and everybody else in the plant so now he's going to do it.

See, this is where a tattoo on my face would come in handy.

Vacation Day One

So, I had my first half day off for vacation today and so far the highlight of the day was my new temporary crown on tooth number 19 and the field mouse in my house

Went into work for a couple of hours, came home and decided to knit and watch television. Rosie isn't going to replace Bob Barker on the Price is Right. Paris Hilton's trash is for sale on ebay and there is a media frenzy expected when she gets liberated tomorrow or is she out as I write this? And didn't we already liberate Paris once before from that pesky Hitler? I just hope this doesn't put a damper on dinner at JJ's and knit night at Palermo's tomorrow. I had enough of the paparazzi at the Summer Solstice party. Oh and some lawyer thinks his pants are worth 54 million.

I was completely engrossed (apparently being on vacation lowers your IQ) and the phone rang and I was late for my dental appointment. Yippeeee

Came home and there was a mouse in the house. He scampered under the dishwasher and later tonight he was cornered by one Jack Russell and two cats and that little mouse stood his ground. I tried to get John to watch, I mean it was like National Fucking Geographic right in our living room, but he can't handle violence and was relieved to know that the mouse made it safely under the couch. The pets soon tired and either I'll find it dead in my bed tomorrow ala Revenge of the Godfathers Pets or he makes it out the doggie door.

Egad I have two more weeks of this. I think I'll give alcoholism a try. Did you know that housework makes a martini fun? No, that's not right.