Tonight's Sleepover

Astro came to spend the night tonight. His first night back since we gave him to Eli for his birthday. John called me out to the living room like there was some kind ov emergency



This is the first time Blue has ever let Astro on the couch. I think he missed his brother.

Something To Rant About

For Beatriz

I woke up yesterday to the sounds of barking dogs so I look out my window expecting to see a squirrel or a cat and there is a huge tree limb laying in the yard.

This is an omen, me thinks, as there was no wind and the limb was not dead. It just fell for no apparent reason. And speaking of no apparent reason, Jacob (fruit of my looms) has called me twice this week, not wanting anything.So, naturally I am quite suspicious. So, last night, after a wonderful dinner with Sandy and Marty, he calls again, and he informs me I am to be a grandma. I think I am still numb or in shock. Probably both. I have never met his girlfriend so it's a very strange, surreal sensation to think about your child having a child with a stranger. I know she has two jobs and works seven days a week. Which is one reason he hasn't brought her over.

So, John takes me shopping today. Yeah, now everything is fixed! Not really, but it was sweet of him to wake me up and take me to the Farmer's Market. We, started out at Palermos for coffee. Then we bought organic nectarines, salsa (from Oxnard) Olives from Santa Barbara and the best damn tamales ever! So, we are sitting in the shade eating our tamales (I had Cheese and green chiles John had Chicken) when this poor, unsuspecting Mormon comes up to talk with us about all-time and eternity. He tells us that not only can our marriage on earth last forever, but it can last for an eternity in Heaven. I shuddered and then I told him thank you, I appreciate what you do, but I have been married three times and the last thing I want is to get stuck with an ex forever. This rendered him speechless for about a minute and then he look at John and said,"what about you, sir?" Hey, didn't I just tell you we're not interested? John pointed to me and said, "I'm married to her." Whereby the young man gave him a sympathetic nod and then had the nerve to ask me for names of friends that I could send him to see. I told him religion is a private matter and I would never presume to know even my best friends thoughts on the matter as we are forever evolving in the area of spirituality. He wondered off in a daze.

So,then more shopping. We went to Bella Cosas and I bought John this cool box to put his remotes in. I bought the books there last week to put my jewelry in. It's a great store and they close at 6 so maybe we could check it out one Tuesday and THEN eat. They have the coolest stuff.

In the meantime I need to get started on a baby blanket because Eli is getting a new cousin and my baby is having a baby.

Three Bags Full

Is the name of the book I bought today. It is the story of George, a beloved sheephearder, who is murdered and his SHEEP solve the mystery. I went in to buy Bill Clinton's new book Giving How Each of Us Can Change The World starting with blowjobs for everybody. Okay I made that part up and I also purchased the Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao.

Guess which one I'm reading first?

Okay I have a plan. They did a study on RLS and 2 people gambled so now it is a side effect. So we know gambling is a compulsive disorder and therefore so is yarn and book buying. We know book collecting is the only hobby to have a disease named after it so I want to be the first in the annals of medicine to be listed as "touched with woolmania" and I am willing to experiment with any drug until I can derive the optimum side effect.

Maybe I'll just stick with the RLS, but I'll have to give John viagra just to keep him from falling out of bed when I kick him.

Progress On The CPH

I have now sewn up all the seams on my hoodie and I learned a new technique using a crochet hook instead of seaming with a needle. I loved it! Gloria, who is going to be teaching at AFY showed me how to do it on Friday and she even loaned me her hook. Knitters are the nicest people. So, while I was there practicing my new technique Sally Melville arrived at the store. It was very exciting.

Went to Palermo's Saturdya and I started on the hood and I have already knit six inches. I am so excited. Then I went to the Farmer's Market where I got some very tasty necatarines. Then I met a woman who makes beautiful jewelry and art pieces from glass and I bought some earrings a belt buckle and a Christmas gift for _____.

Then I discovered a new store in Camarillo called Bella Cosas and I got the cutest purse by Mary Frances and these leather boxes that look like books for my dresser.

John and I went to a friends birthday party today and Bruce requested my cornbread. I made him the cornbread and surprised him with a pot of ham hocks and beans and it was a hit.

Then, on the way home, we spotted Sandy on the freeway. I never seem to get too far from my knitster sisters.

Fucking HMO Son's of Bitches

My favorite line from "As Good As It Gets". So anyway, I call my HMO provider "Kaiser" to make an appointment for female plumbing problems. They send to to a guy, whom I've never met and who after asking numerous questions, tells me I have a dysfunction uterus! Well, this is not going to look good on my yearly review as a Quality Control Manager, but it does explain my children.

Apparently this guy is good because he actually gave me a diagnosis without even "assessing the situation." He didn't venture to look "downtown" and he didn't even peak at my "package". And ladies you know what I'm talking about. I don't like putting my feet in stirrups unless there is a horse involved, but come on. Not a blood test, not a urine test Zip! Wait, he did say I looked tired and wanted to know if I was getting enough sleep.

So, I called Planned Parenthood and spoke with the nice folks and found at that you can't be diagnosed with a "dysfunctional Uterus" without having tests performed and they told me what to say so I called back and got an appointment for next week with another doctor or Planned Parenthood will do it for $100. So, I just wanted to put that information out there in case any of you have Kaiser, because the female "annual" checkups are know every three years. I really suck at math.

So,my boss gets back today and what do I do? Sleep in. He must think I do this all the time. So I stop to get coffee, well, what's five more minutes when you're an hour late? Right? Wrong! I park at the tile shop because the parking lot is full at the coffee shop and when I came out a damn dump truck had me blocked.

When I got to work I had realized I had locked the front door thereby locking out the cleaning lady. Now I have to CLEAN HOUSE this weekend.

Thank G-d it Thursday.