What A Freakin' Day

My day started out as complete madness at work because we are preparing to shut down for two weeks. My boss can't access the Internet from home, so he's instant messaging me wanting me to check my IP address dot com, the IT guy is on the phone, I get hold of the purchasing manager because Verizon has switched us from static to dynamic again on our IP address, I'm trying to balance the backlog, the new guy is having problems preparing a data package, the controller didn't show up AGAIN so I assist the president in obtaining a document for a banker. I have a lady clogging in the office next to me, it rained so hard my window leaked and all my binders of invoices, procedures and MSDS sheets are swollen from rain and I missed the truck and didn't get my freaking Dr. Pepper. I guess, what I'm trying to say is I needed a monkey and a football by noon.

So, I put out the metaphorical fire and managed to get home without killing and some guy even showed up dressed like Santa with an elf in tow and wanted to take a picture with me. WTF? He was from some temp agency and he's drumming up business and he had candy for our controller who didn't show up so I passed out truffles to everyone. Made my day. Quite honestly, I hope Santa shits in his stocking.

And two people brought me Dr. Pepper's because they knew I needed it.

That's why I love this place, madness and all.

Then I come home and sit down and realize I didn't deposit Mom's check at the bank. Mother is a stickler about these things and she wont rest until she knows I haven't lost it. Apparently, she still thinks I keep money in my shoe. So, I decide to deposit the check and go to Smart and Final for some last minute supplies for the Christmas eve party.

You know how those pesky ATM's never have envelopes when you need them? Well, I had put in my ATM card and started my deposit transaction when I realized there were no envelopes. So I go to the next ATM retrieve an envelope and walk back and the ATM that took my card now reads:

TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE, PLEASE USE ANOTHER BANK OF AMERICA ATM

I hear the drawers clanking around and I can hear people so I yell through the slot that took my card, "Hey, give me my card back, please." Which alarmed the man two ATM's over. I wait for several minutes and then I go to the bank door and it's locked, yet there are people in there and I wonder if perhaps this is a bad dream. I'm banging on the door and a man comes to the door and TALKS TO ME THROUGH THE CRACK! As if I was a bank robber or something. I explain to him my situation THROUGH SAID CRACK and he looks pissed like I've inconvenienced him.


So, I'm standing there waiting like an idiot trying to make idle conversation with anyone who wandered up because I know I would be nervous at someone just hanging around an ATM and the more I explained my real story the more nervous people became. Then I just acted crazy for shits and giggles, plus it was freaking cold. I told one man I thought Ted Kazinsky was on to something and another that I was at that ATM every night between 6 and 8 performing stand-up comedy.

The cranky man from the bank starts talking to me from the other side of the ATM and it appears to others not in close proximity that I am now having a conversation with an inanimate conversation, arm gestures and all.

My card had somehow managed to fall between the drawer and the slot I placed it in and the cranky man retreived it with a long piece of wire and mass quantities of scotch tape. He was quite pleased with himself and this cheered him up.

So, how was your day?