So, when I started the blog I was all excited about posting shit. Like I had something really profound to say. What an ass! I really have nothing to say. I live a very mundane life. Get up, drive to work, fantasize about my funeral, pretend to work, drive home, fantasize about somebody elses funeral, etc., etc .

It varies from day to day, song to song.

Well now there's an idea, she says. My ultimate fantasy funeral would be to have a camera crew follow me around to record the person that I am when no one else is around. And then I could add music to it and direct the whole thing and be in charge. It would be a documentary/music video. And I would have to have complete creative control because I'm a bit of a control freak. I don't like shit coming out of left field. Why are we talking about baseball? Okay, okay. I wouldn't cut and paste though. Well, the mundane of course, because nobody wants mundane at a funeral. The sex scenes would have to be deleted because I'm hoping my kids will show up. And to be honest, I think we have scarred the Jack Russell for life. My confidential conversations, of course. Hence, the term confidential. Family gatherings would give it a PG13 rating because it usually ends with me chasing a son with an axe

So now we're back to mundane again. Okay, I'll have to work on the filler, but I do know that it will end with me and Bubba riding on up to ridge with our backs to the camer (Bubba has a great ass, by the way) and we gaze down into the valley as the sun slowly sets behind the islands as tears slip through my fingers forming silver pools of sorrow.

Cut!

yellow sun descends upon an ocean of metallic green
blue ski conceded to black as epileptic auras cascade upon me
splashing waves of convulsive electrical currents
that rush for my brain, driving me insane, as they paralyze my senses
still i attempt to wade through emotional waters
feeling for the bottom i try to stand
but the sand shifts beneath my feet
my sets of anger pound against the shore
slowly the rage begins to subside
with the ebb and flow of the tide ( like they didn't know that was coming) Quit interrupting!
i release the pain into the healing waters
and my journey begins
to a place where no one grieves
a sacred place where Blue Sky
meets the Waters Edge
slowly i submerge into that golden glory
eternally golden

i am the setting sun