Someone equated my blog to a Seinfeld episode and now I completely understand the soup Nazi. I have been observing certain individuals at my local coffee shop and I can’t take it anymore. They are rude and I want to cause them bodily damage. For example, this one “lady” ordered a Fireside Chai and then she brings it back and wants “ice” because it’s too hot! Okay, lady, you don’t order a drink with fire anywhere in its’ name and then complain about the heat.
NO TEA FOR YOU!
And today a man walked up to the counter, WHEN IT WAS MY TURN TO ORDER, and asked if they could rinse his sunglasses off. What the hell. You can't walk your fat ass down to the bathroom and wash your own glasses? It’s a coffee shop! They are not your servants. They make you coffee, tea and the occasional smoothie. Which I still don’t get. Why would you go to a coffee shop for a drink that has no caffeine?
And them fat ass B’s that order a drink and then substitute the steamed milk with soy, but want EXTRA WHIP CREAM. What the hell? It's udder madness. And here's a hint. When you order your drink tell them the size first. It’s universal that they write on the cup what you want in the cup. So after you’re done telling them you want a carmel latte with ½ soy and ½ half-and-half with extra ice, a shot of espresso and double up on the whip cream. Do not huff and sigh and stomp your size 9 squeezed into a 7 ½ pump when they ask you again after they finally break the freakin code as to what size you want. For the love of god!
My point is, what the fuck was my point? Damn, now I’ve lost my train of thought. Oh here it is now. Be nice to the people in retail. They don’t make the big bucks and they didn’t sign up to clean your glasses or watch your kid running amock after you've gotten the snot nosed little brat hopped up on hot chocolate.
Which, I swear to G-d if that kid runs by me one more time I'm tripping his little ass.
5 comments:
That was a good post. Sorry I didn't read it earlier.
It would have made a perfect Seinfeld episode. :)
Marc:
Why thank you.
Mademoiselle:
Rant while it's still legal.
This is one of my favorite posts! I "ditto" everything you said, including tripping the kid high on sugar.
I have decided to dedicate my life to writing a book on coffee people.
I'll start with
This
And there will be a whole chapter dedicated to people who order their drinks and then walk around to the bar only to change the order compeletly - and to something more expensive.
And a chapter dedicated to people who order a hot drink and then get all pissed that it didn't get made iced. In this chapter will be people who order a "mocha" and expect it to be a "mocha frappuchino"
and of course the extra whip soy people.
Thank you for being nice to baristas. You are the type of customer we all love!
Oh I can't wait to read your book. Will it be a "Coffee Table" edition? Sorry, I couldn't resist.
There is just no excuse for the way some people treat people in retail. It is just bad manners.
And when they see me walk into my local coffee shop, they start on my drink before I order it and it makes me feel special.
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