I have had the television on mute for the last 45 minutes (Note to self: Have Laura teach me how to use DVD player.) listening for a fucking beep. That's right. A beep. I thought it was the microwave. Nope. Then I checked the smoke detector only to discover it's not there. (scary music plays in background)
So I'm all alone on a Saturday night (John is staying in San Diego until tomorrow) and I am going insane because I cannot locate a beep. I stand in the hallway with my arms acrossed my chest lying in wait like a stalker and then I hear it again! It's coming from the office area. I probably looked like Barney Fife when I turned that corner and saw the computer and the printer were both on. Aha! So I check them both and no beep. And then I look down and to my horror I discover it is my new fucking phone. It beeps? (scary music gets louder)
How retarded am I? Apparently Jacob called again! He left a message to see if I was okay while John was gone.
My child had the ability to do a good deed and PISS ME OFF in one shot.
Damn, he's good.
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