My grandson Eli, spent the weekend. Today went something like this. Eli "What happens if you put honey on you?" Me" You would get sticky." Eli "what happens if you run outside?" Me "The bees would get you." Eli "why?" Me "Bee's like honey. And speaking of bees, did you know that 90% of our food supply is based upon bees pollinating plants and there was a recent study performed and there is a shortage of bees that could affect our food supply? Eli" Can I have some juice, Grandma?"
Nice try kid, but you are dealing with a professional. Just ask your father and three uncles.
Yesterday we went to see Spiderman 3. Not something I would pick out, but when I'm in grandma mode all logic goes to the wind. It's in the bi-laws. The paragraph right after never question a grandma's statistics. So we had popcorn and icee's and something chewy and extremely sour which made us make funny faces each time we had one and we did it over and over again and giggled until the music got scary and Eli would cover his ears, but still watched the movie. That's a new one.
We went home and I bought him his first glove and we played catch in the front yard. He has a pretty good arm and with more practice eventually he will throw it somewhere in my location. He's only five.
Then came time for chores. He watered the garden and wanted to know why did the cat's kill a lizard. (My garden is littered with lizard remains. I will spare you photos) So, I explained how cats hunt. And then he discovered that when sprayed, water makes a rainbow. "how come?" Okay I admit it, I made something up. I lied to a child. But I'm tired and I haven't knitted in two days and after questions like "why can't apples swim?" and "you said I could have juice and I want pickle juice." And two days of Spongebob(which by the way is not a new form of contraception) and I was a Teenage Robot, there's gotta be something in the by-laws for that one. I think I need absolution and I'm not even Catholic.
6 comments:
Funny you should bring that up. The bees that is.
Did you know that Albert Einstein surmised that if bees disappeared, human kind would only have 4 to 5 years left since, as you stated, bees pollinate the plants that are responsible for 90% of our food supply.
And right now it has been reported that bee colonies are down 60% in western North America and 70% in eastern North America. Plus there have been colony collapses reported in Germany, Spain, England, Switzerland and Italy.
So how are you going to explain the end of the world to Eli?
Wow, I did not know Einstein said that about bees. Interesting!
If I had to tell Eli about the end of the world, I would start with the story of midge fly. The only insect that pollinates the Theobrama cacoa (food of the Gods) also known as the chocolate tree.
The midge fly too, is dying off due to pesticide and those pesky trout's. And if there is no chocolate in the world then I refuse to stay. Which is a total rip off of Mark Twains' If I can't smoke cigar's in heaven I shall not go" quote, but I would need it for the dramatic affect.
I spent an hour and a half on the phone sat. with my friend Cindi, who lives in Maine. She told me I had to see the documentary "The Future of Food". Which is no "light" viewing. She said chemically altered food, is contributing to the demise of our stinger friends. She's a registered dietitian. I'm starting to look for those "O" cans at Vons! P.S. Eli is cute!
If you Google "the future of food" you can view the video. It's very good. I'm watching it right now and cleaning my oven. Okay I made that part up.
Thanks Lisa.
If you got through all those questions without once saying, because, you deserve absolution and to be cannonized. There are several times during ANY given day with Paris (named after the city-and if one more person asks me abut that my answer will be BECAUSE)that I stop and wonder "did she just pass me in intelligence". Some times after the "gazillionth" (that's just my intelligence showing) I just want to shout "okay out of the stroller-you're gonna push for awhile.
Oh I've said "because" lots of times, but not to him "because" I honed my skills on his dad and uncles.
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